


The Victorian Matchmaker

by Manhattanite



Category: Warehouse 13
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:20:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22693924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Manhattanite/pseuds/Manhattanite
Summary: Throwback from WH 13 original fanfiction.  Helps to be a fan of the original show and HG Wells' place in the Agents' lives.A dear reader -valsdo-  asked me to post this for Valentine's Day.  Hope you enjoy.  One of my earliest works on fan fiction dot net so please bring patience.
Relationships: Myka Bering/Helena "H. G." Wells
Comments: 13
Kudos: 33





	1. HG Wells Plays Cupid

**"Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind." William Shakespeare**.

* * *

Helena loved sharing Valentine's Day with Myka. She marked each one with traditional British flair by making her own cards and writing her own verses. It appalled the authoress when she saw the display of ready to buy valentines in a card store. It was met with her outward display of disapproval and she read the cards out loud and scoffed. Usually the person reading the same card replaced it in the rack, certain it was not worthy of their intended loved one. "Go home and write what is in your heart," she instructed a young man who said he could not imagine doing that. "I could not imagine living in America, but here I am, so go and get pen and paper," she instructed the love struck youth.

Helena sat one morning before the holiday with Myka in the diner for breakfast. An early run to the post office and stationary store afforded them time to eat before the establishments opened.

"Myka, I worry that our friends do not have enough opportunity to meet people," HG shared with Myka.

"Yes, this job does put a damper on that," Myka agreed.

"Myka, don't you think Pete would like that girl over there?" she asked nonchalantly gazing around the eatery. Myka picked her head up from the menu and tried to glance over discretely. There in a booth for two sat a woman in her late twenties sipping on tea and reading the paper. "I guess. What makes you say that?" Myka asked going back to the selections. Helena was answering, but all Myka could her was her inner voice asking ' _do I want to eat healthy or do I want to enjoy this_?' If Myka had been listening, she might have heard Helena say what her intentions were. No sooner had their orders been delivered than HG noticed the woman getting ready to leave.

"Wish me luck," HG said to Myka and with that she was up and out of her seat.

Myka turned quickly to see HG saying hello to the woman and asking if she could sit in the empty seat. The woman hesitated only momentarily, a little startled by the Brit's appearance, but seemed pleased then to invite HG to sit down.

Myka tried to be careful turning around, but people were noticing her and she smiled uncomfortably and returned to pick up some of her food. She could hear Helena's laugh and it seemed to Myka that she was being awfully friendly in so quick a manner. If Myka didn't know better, and she did, she would have mistaken Helena's demeanor as flirting. Myka knew it was the same manner she used when slowly encasing someone in her web and within minutes, this woman would probably agree to almost anything. But what Helena wanted from her was the question.

Soon enough Helena returned to her seat opposite Myka, wearing her victory smile. It was her ' _job well done Helena'_ look and Myka knew it well.

"Helena?" Myka asked wanting the explanation.

"Yes?" the Victorian asked, eating her food.

"What were you doing?" Myka asked, putting her folk down.

"Oh, that? I was inquiring as to whether or not that young lady would like to come to the B&B in the near future," HG said. Myka folded her hands in front of her. "Because?" Myka prompted.

"Oh because I think she would be ideal for Pete," HG said. "I asked you that before I went over, remember?"

"Helena, did you tell Pete? I mean you're setting him up on a blind date," Myka said.

"Oh she wasn't visually impaired at all, darling," HG corrected her friend.

"No, I mean you're inviting someone to meet Pete and suppose Pete doesn't' …. Well, I mean suppose he's ….," Myka struggled with the rest. She really couldn't think of a reason Pete wouldn't want to meet a woman.

"The only concern I have is - is she too tall?" HG pondered. "I mean, some men find height intimidating, but you're tall and I don't think you intimidate Pete at all," HG reasoned.

"Well, thank you Agent Wells," Myka said trying to call HG's attention to what she just said.

"Hmmm, I may have to rectify that," HG said decidedly and Myka wasn't sure she wanted to know what that entailed.

* * *

As Myka shopped for the list of items Artie has asked for, HG took it up on herself to scour the aisles. There were several patrons who were stopping in before work started in the store. Helena looked the women over and when she thought she found an appropriate subject, she struck up a conversation.

"Are these pens any good?" she asked taking the same ones as the woman next to her.

"Excuse me?" the woman asked.

"These pens? Are they any good? I have a dear friend – his name is Pete and he asked me to get pens, but I have no idea which ones to get," HG proclaimed.

"Oh well I use these all the time and they're good for the price," the woman offered and started to walk away.

"Oh good," HG said following her now. "Because Pete is just the nicest guy and I really would like to get him exactly what he needs … I mean… wants," HG said slyly. The woman frowned and smiled. "You know, you might like him. I mean, you have something in common," HG tried.

"Pens?" the woman asked.

"Mightier than the sword they say," HG smiled back. Helena perceived the resistance and would have let go except this woman seemed a more appropriate height. "Are you already spoken for?" HG inquired. The woman was hesitant, but big believers in things happen for a reason.

"No," she said slowly. HG caught a display of party supplies and that was it took for the seed to be planted.

"We're having a dinner party - at the B&B next weekend, perhaps you'd like to come?" HG said. "You could meet Pete," she added.

"Well, I don't know," the woman said because who in their right mind accepted an invitation from someone in Staples. "Wait, isn't that where all the IRS Agents live?"

"Ah yes, we are…. IRS Agents…. Yes," HG said forgetting that they were somewhat of a known quantity in town.

"Can I bring a friend?" she asked feeling a little more comfortable knowing something about the woman standing with her.

"A friend?" HG said wondering how that would work out if one of them was chosen and the other not.

"Well I don't go to strange places alone," the woman explained.

"Well then, of course. Bring a friend," HG said feeling only slightly that she was losing control.

"OK …," the woman said waiting for Helena's name.

"Helena Wells," HG answered.

"Grace,” the woman said back. "Is this an event on Facebook that I can get all the details?" the woman asked as she got on line. If it weren't for the fact that HG deemed her a perfect specimen, she may have thought about her response. She was certain Grace was the top contender.

"Oh yes, look for my Facebook number," HG said.

"You mean _page_ right?" Grace asked back.

"Page, yes how silly of me," HG smiled.

Myka thought it just the slightest bit odd that Helena added a paper tablecloth and cups with red hearts on them when they checked out. Helena didn't share with Myka what the plan was just yet. She would get Claudia to help her set up the social media page and slowly break the news to Leena that they were having a dinner party. On the way back, HG told Myka that she had met another woman in the store whom she though Pete would like.

"Since when did you decide to play _Cupid_?" Myka asked laughing but it planted another seed in the Time Traveler's mind. If she could do it for Pete, she could do it for all of them.

"Myka darling, I just want our friends to be as happy as we are," HG said with feeling. She meant it – it was truly her motivation. She saw a problem – the lack of companionship for her fellow friends and she had made up her mind to do something about it - come Artie or high water.

* * *

When they returned to the Warehouse, Myka encouraged Helena to let Pete know that she was girlfriend shopping for him. She assured Myka she would, but had other things on her mind. She had a lot to do if she was giving a dinner party. The first thing she needed was for Claudia to help her set up the event on Facebook.

"Claudia dear, do you remember the page you made for me with the friendly faces on it?" HG said cryptically.

"Yes, what about it?" Claudia asked understanding the Brit.

"I need to set up an event," HG explained.

"Really? You? What kind of event are you having?" Claudia asked with great interest. "There is going to be an inventors' convention in town that I don't know about?"

"Oh, I hope not," HG said sincerely. "No, I'm having a small dinner party for some women," HG explained.

"Myka know?" Claudia laughed at her own joke.

"They're not for Myka, darling. They're for Pete," HG clarified.

"So what are you doing – auctioning him off?" Claudia teased and then noticed the look on Helena's face. "You can't actually auction him off. You know that HG, right?" The third seed was now germinating.

"We'll call it a charity dinner," HG said, running with the idea. "If Pete agrees, we'll auction off a date with him."

"Wait – you're serious aren't you?" Claudia said.

"Yes, it makes perfect sense. People think we're the IRS – so why not hold a charity dinner where they can win a dinner with Pete and get a tax right off," HG said. Claudia just stared at her.

"Artie made me read the IRS Regs," she explained.

"I don't know HG. My spidey senses are tingling. What about Artie?" Claudia asked.

"Ah yes, Artie. Well, perhaps we could arrange for Dr. Calder to take him to dinner that night," HG said checking that off the problem list.

"And you're going to ask Leena to cook?" Claudia tried.

"No, we'll have it catered. Finger sandwiches and refreshments," HG answered.

"Well look at you, you're all like Martha Stewart meets Patti Stanger," Claudia said, but the references were lost on HG. "She does all this crafty stuff …..and ….the other is the matchmaker. Never mind."

"Now you are going to get Pete's approval right?" Claudia asked.

Helena smiled confidently. "Do you really doubt Mr. Lattimer will say no to the opportunity to have a few women bidding on him?"

"You know HG - a few women won't raise much money. And what charity are we donating the money to?" the logically minded millennial asked.

"It has to be a _501c3_ in order for people to get the tax deduction," HG said.

"Wow you really did read those manuals," Claudia said.

"Well, I'll ask Dr. Calder for a recommendation. And besides, Artie is always saying we should give back to the community," HG said.

"Are you sure that's what Artie said?" Claudia asked, but HG ignored it.

"We can't just invite women – that might raise suspicions. You and Leena will also participate," HG said unequivocally.

“Wait a minute HG - how do you know who will come to this?" Claudia said.

"I will personally interview them. I will invite the best candidates," HG said.

"Well, I don't know about this….," Claudia said listening to her spidey senses.

"Oh come on, it will be great fun and all for a worthy cause," Helena said convincingly.

"Well, if Pete and Leena say okay then I'll do it too," Claudia said allowing her libido to overtake the arachnid wisdom.

Helena felt even more energized in her ideas when Pete said _yes_ before she even got up to the charity dinner. She simply asked if he would like to meet some women and he bear hugged her. Convincing Leena was slightly more challenging, but when HG explained it was for a good cause and she was having it catered, Leena was on board. HG took a deep breath, full of self-satisfaction that she was well on her way to solving all the romantic angst in the house.

And then she turned to face her biggest challenge – Myka.


	2. Matchmaker, Matchmaker Make Me a Match

" **Do you not see what a great goddess Aphrodite is? She whom you can neither name nor measure, how great she is by nature from how great a thing she comes through." Euripides**

* * *

Myka was taken by two things as HG spoke about her project. One, how excited she was at the thought of playing matchmaker for each of her fellow agents, and two - how she assumed everything would simply fall into place.

"Myka, what could be more simple?" she asked the next day. "I already spoke to Dr. Calder and she said Univille could use state of the heart defibrillators in several of the buildings and schools. What better charity than helping your own town!"

"I know Helena, but ….," Myka tried.

"And Pete, and Leena and even Claudia are on board. What does that tell us, darling?" HG asked.

"That they want a machine nearby to use on Artie when he finds out?" Myka tried.

"No! It means they are willing to entertain the possibility that their intended soul mate could come to this dinner. Oh Myka, wouldn't it just be grand if they each found someone?" HG mused. Myka could hear how heartfelt HG was in her voice.

"You're a regular Cupid, aren't you?" Myka grinned.

"I always fancied myself more of the Greek goddess– _Aphrodite_ ," HG said. "I think I make a better deity of love than an angel, don't you agree?” the Brit said moving into Myka's space looking very devilish.

"You are such a romantic," Myka smiled at her friend, her resistance melting like ice in July.

"Why shouldn't I want for our closest friends to have even a taste of what we have, Myka? A little romance never hurt anyone," HG said. "You can quote me on that."

"Helena, have you thought through the process of putting all of this …..." Myka started and saw the look on Helena's face. It shouted – _since when does the great HG Wells not think anything through_? "No sweetie, I just mean relationships are different now ….men and women don't ….eh…they sometimes….there's more …..." Myka tried, but could feel herself sinking. "You tell me if you need help, ok?" Myka left it at.

* * *

At Artie's meeting when he asked if someone was willing to go into Univille to pick up the newly ordered monitors for the security system, HG jumped at the chance. He had been complaining about how they messed up the order three times and he was tired of dealing with the idiots. Helena said she would get the order straightened out and be back with the units in no time. Then she insisted on going alone which surprised even Artie who was certain HG was joined at Myka's hip.

"Did you mention this dinner party to Artie, Helena?" Myka asked as she got ready to leave for work that morning. She already knew the answer because Artie was still breathing.

"No, but I will when I return with his monitors. I thought I'd get him in a good mood first," HG said.

"You're waiting to talk to Artie … _when_ he's in a _good_ mood?" Myka asked the smile showing in the crinkle around her eyes.

"I see your point. Well, I'll settle for civilized and he will be when I return with his machines," HG said confidently. "Don't you see Myka, my plan is already working. What do you think that store will be filled with?"

"It better be filled with Artie's monitors," Myka pointed out.

"No, well yes, but it will also be filled with tech geeks. All I have to do is choose among the appropriate ones for Claudia," HG shared.

* * *

Perhaps an alarm should have gone off in Helen's head, but she truly believed that given this was about men and women, she had all her bases covered. Meeting people was never an issue for her – she approached total strangers without as much as a blip of anxiety. She could be very persuasive when she wanted to be. She knew her friends well, so how difficult could it be to pick out partners? She went over her mental list – Pete liked women in general so he was the easiest. He had fallen for a soldier and a veterinarian so HG knew they had to be bright professional women. Leena needed a man who was empathic and mature. Claudia enjoyed technical geniuses whom she could swap sexual tension through technology banter. Helena narrowed it down – professional women, sensitive men, and geeks. All she had to do was to find these groups en mass and invite them.

The store where Artie purchased the monitors was her best first step. She took the order forms with her as she waltzed into the store. Helena moved slowly around the aisles pretending to be browsing the store items when actually, she was perusing the help. When one of the sales people approached, she would ask them a question about the item she was holding to assess how smart he was. When a young woman approached, one HG determined too young for Pete, she informed the girl in no uncertain terms that she was only there to be helped by a man. Not a great choice of words and they sounded even worse when the young lady repeated them. It made the guys at the sales desk all sit up and take notice of the raven haired older woman.

"I'm going in boys, wish me luck," the first interested youth said as he approached Helena. He was taken by her beauty and when he heard her accent, he stammered his responses.

"You seem like you really know what you're talking about," HG said as she reached out to touch his name tag, "Clark." "Now tell me, Clark – can you explain to me why this microprocessor will be outdated in less than twelve months?" HG asked. He stared at her mouth open, but no words. "Don't tell me you've never gotten that question before?" she asked. He gulped and nodded.

"Yeah, but it never sounded so cool before," he admitted. Helena would have blushed if she believed in it.

"That's sweet," she said. Clark's mouth went completely dry and he excused himself to get a drink. His place was soon taken by the next salesman who offered to help the Brit.

"Do you know about the Windows 10 Operating System?" the man asked confidently.

" _I know all about it_ ," HG almost whispered near his ear and then stared at him. She was doing a mental scan on the lad trying to determine if he was suitable material for Claudia. He mistook it for the sexiest flirting he had ever experienced in his life.

"I'll be…right…..back," he said when he thought his legs were giving out.

The group at the register felt as if they were watching their fellow employees come back from an intense _Call of Duty_ marathon. "Hashtag hot babe," one of them spoke out loud for the group. Unconsciously thinking there might be power in numbers, the group approached Helena. For the next hour, while customers complained about the long line at the one opened cash register, Helena walked with the group and asked specific questions about the various devices and machines in the store. At the end of the inquiry, Helena had trouble deciding who the top contenders were for Claudia.

" _How_ would you all like to do a good deed," HG finally asked them. These were very bright young men who didn't want to assume that her definition of good deed was the Boy Scout definition of a good deed.

"All of us?" finally one of them asked.

"Why yes," HG said sincerely.

"Oh I don't know about this," the most nervous one of the group asked. He had aspirations of becoming the Service Desk manager one day and he didn't think this would help him at all.

"All you have to do is attend our charity dinner at the B&B this weekend," HG said plainly.

"Wait a minute, is this a trap? Like you lure us all out there and …," but the youth stopped when HG tilted her head to the side and frowned. "No ok I guess not," he sighed disappointed.

"Isn't that where those IRS Agents live?" another asked.

"Yes, in fact it is," Helena said. "So you want us to come dinner with IRS Agents?" another asked, the distaste evident on his face. "It's a charity dinner. We're auctioning off dates with the agents and raising money for defibrillators for the town," HG explained. She had them at _how_. She told them they could check the details on her social media screen which they totally understood as Facebook. "I hope to see you all there," HG said sweetly and they all promised to attend.

It wasn't until she parked outside the Warehouse entrance twenty minutes later did she remember the monitors.

"Oh bloody hell!" she said as she turned the car around and went back to get them. The manager of the store greeted her personally and suggested she wait in the car while the guys loaded them into her van. He didn't want another scene like he had this morning.

* * *

As HG waited outside, she noticed the entrance to the hospital down the block. That was a place filled with women, she decided. Helena entered the hospital and asked where the cafeteria was. She walked in and surveyed the room. There was a long table of nurses and doctors who were all enjoying their early lunch. Helena flashed her badge and asked if she could join them.

'You're one of those IRS Agents, aren't you?" one blonde woman asked, and then she turned to the group. "They have the cutest guy out there. He came in last year with mosquito bites all over. Remember him?" she asked the group and indeed many of them did. HG felt like she struck gold.

"Well we are actually having a charity dinner and will be auctioning off a date with the agents, including Agent Lattimer," HG informed the women who seemed very interested.

Helena explained the details – dates with the IRS Agents to purchase the medical equipment.

"Don't you need a lot of people to raise that kind of money?" one of the doctors asked. Of course they would know that the machines cost about $1200 each. Helena simply assumed that the bidding would be high given the prizes.

"I think you should charge people to get in and then auction them off?" one of the senior nurses suggested. "Yeah, twenty-five dollars to get in and then you bid of the agent of your choice," another said. "You need to invite more people," another one suggested.

"OK, well then we will invite the female staff," HG started until someone pointed out that was discriminatory.

"I think you have to do the whole staff," they suggested. Helena had no idea how many people that was, but decided the more the merrier. Surely she was increases her chances of finding the right match if she increased the selection pools.

Not only did the friendly hospital staff offer to invite the others, one of them offered to write up the event on HG's page. She opened her IPad and sat next to Helena. After HG accessed her page, the woman moved a little closer to work on the details of the event.

"Do you want people to RSVP?" she asked, staring at Helena's full lips when she replied, "I just want them to show up." Helena was so absorbed in getting the details correct that she missed all the subtle cues this woman was giving her. She gently padded HG's knee when she was done helping her. She leaned in when laughing at something funny HG said.

"I do hope you stay in the bidding," HG shared - thinking this was an excellent candidate for Pete. "You can count on me, Agent Wells," the doctor said.

Helena went back to the SUV which was now loaded with the new monitors and ready to go. On the way out of town, Helena passed the sign for the university. Now that was where she would find sensitive mature men. She swerved the car in the direction and drove the ten miles to the campus. She hoped the professors would be as helpful as the nurses and doctors had been. She needed to figure out which professors might be to Leena's liking. When she asked where the professors congregate, she was directed to conference room where a multi- departmental meeting was being held. "Perfect," HG thought. She heard her phone beep and it was a text from Myka. " _Are you ok? You've been gone a long time."_ HG finally took note of the time. She texted she would be back soon.

* * *

Time was now of the essence. She approached the woman who was leading the conference, identified herself as an agent, and explained what she needed. The woman looked at her quizzically, but assumed it was part of an official investigation. After introducing her to the group as Agent Wells, she gave the floor to Helena.

"I do beg your pardon for this intrusion, but would it be possible for any single men between the ages of 30 and 40 to join me in the outer hallway," HG asked and a great deal of paper shuffling and chairs being pushed back took place. Outside in the hallway, Helena shook their hands, thanked them for coming out, and told them what she wanted them to do.

"You called us out of a meeting to sign up for an auction?" one of them asked incredulously.

"Yes, I did," HG said thinking this was already obvious.

"Thank you Agent Wells, thank you," he and many of his colleagues said. They agreed it was a worthy cause and said they would be happy to come to the dinner.

"We have a lovely young agent whom I believe you will all be quite happy to bid on," HG assured them.

"Where is this woman you speak of?" they asked.

"Well, she's shy and so I have taken the liberty of setting this entire operation in order," Helena said smiling. A number of them mistook Helena's explanation as a ruse for herself.

One of the professors offered to see her to the exit, but she assured him she could find her way. "Don't want to make it too easy?" he asked coyly certain she felt the same spark he did. Helena did not understand at all. "I shall return the same way I came in. Could not be easier than that," the Inventor replied.

* * *

Helena finally made her way back to the Warehouse.

"Well, thank you for joining us Agent Wells, " Artie said of her early afternoon arrival. "We were about to send the Calvary." _Men in uniform_ , HG thought and dismissed it. "They didn't ask you to build them, did they?" he asked stressing how late she was, but Helena's mind was elsewhere.

Myka just looked at Helena hoping there was a good reason for the 4 hour sojourn into town that should have taken an hour.

"I've wonderful news, Myka," HG said when she was alone with her. Myka tried her hardest not to look dubious. Stopping Helena when she was on a mission was like turning a ship when it was full steam ahead….it went against the laws of physics.

"I met the most wonderful group of young men for Claudia. They're all well versed in the latest technology and quite proficient in the methodological structures of the devices in their store. Then I met some of the doctors and nurses, I really think Pete would like this one I met. They are a caring lot and professionally trained and I think Pete is the kind that desires someone who can pay him a great deal of attention. He is a bit needy," HG said looking up in deep thought. "Who are we describing?" Myka asked teasing the Brit was she was too focused to get the joke.

"Then I stopped by the University and spoke to several young professors who agreed to participate," HG said. "I've decided I want someone sensitive and calm for Leena," HG said as if she were choosing puppies.

"You've decided?" Myka asked.

"Well, I will select the pool of applicants and they can choose whomever they like," HG said.

"Helena, the one who bids the most will win the dinner right?" Myka asked pointing that detail out. "It may or may not be the person our friends pick – if they pick someone."

"You have a point there Myka," HG agreed and now paced the floor. "Got it!" she said after a minute. "The dinner is simply the prize. They can go to the dinner with whoever wins, but there will be plenty of losers for them to pick from as well."

Myka narrowed her eyes at the sound of that, but she understood HG's point. The auction would provide dinner, HG was providing lifetime happiness.

"We'll let them meet Pete, Leena, and Claudia before the bidding starts. Whet their appetites so to speak," HG said and just the thought of that made her hungry. She reached across and grabbed Myka by the back of her head and pulled her in, gently kissing her lips.

"God, I do love this project," HG said aroused by all the thoughts of romance.

"And what project is that, Agent Wells?" Artie asked turning the corner in time to hear her declaration.


	3. Team Cupid

" **Plans are of little importance, but planning is essential." ― Winston Churchill**

* * *

The stammering that followed was only slightly covered up by the fact that Myka was completing HG's thoughts. Artie's head moved back and forth as each of them said;

"Well….," HG started surprised by his sudden appearance.

"Artie," Myka said.

"I am….,"

"Helena is ..uhm… ,"

"I was actually….,"

"Going to …"

"Surprise you,"

"Surprise him?"

"But now that you know,"

"Right, now – that… you…. know,"

"There's no … uhm.."

"Surprise so …,"

"You're in on this?" Artie asked looking directly at Myka. Not since Sister Mary Catherine asked her in 8th grade if she saw who cheated did Myka feel so much pressure. She looked at HG whose expression did not plead, but questioned. It seemed like an eternity until Myka finally spoke.

"In? On this? Pfft ,yeah," Myka said and it was hard to tell who was more surprised by her answer.

Artie was suspicious by nature and being suspicious of Helena was his favorite hobby, but if Myka was involved, then he felt the slightest bit better. Enough to let him go on with the installation of the security monitors. "No explosions," he warned as he walked away.

"Well done Agent Bering," HG complimented her on her spontaneity.

"Well done! Now I'm up to my neck in this as much as you are," Myka said having second thoughts.

The mere mention of any of Myka's body parts was enough to make a salacious look fall over Helena's face. She pushed the curls away from Myka's shoulder and planted a kiss on her neck.

"Thank you for sticking this out on my behalf," Helena said softly. "Is there anything else you'd like to stick out for me?"

It sent shivers down Myka's spine that was connected to her brain - that was at the moment firing warning signs – " _No Myka, no. Bad Myka_ _."_ But Myka's brain was no match for those physical sensations and her heart's desire to do whatever Helena wanted.

"You're like the bad girl in school," Myka said laughing at how ironic it was that her partner would be the kind of person who scared the hell out of her back then.

"Only in school?" Helena retorted, not the least bit taken aback.

"You do know that my being involved will only hold Artie at bay for a little while. Eventually you are going to have to tell him," Myka warned because there simply were not secrets in the Warehouse.

"I will," HG promised. "Perhaps as soon as his new monitors are up and working. Let me see if I can assist," HG said bidding farewell to Myka.

* * *

By late afternoon, the monitors were installed and HG and Claudia had gotten the new software to download. When the button was pressed, the monitors all came online except one so Pete offered to go check the connection. Claudia wanted everything working before she called Artie back to the office. It gave Helena a chance to tell Claudia about her trek into town and how she met some very interesting young men at the computer store.

"Were they more _IPhone 11_ or _Samsung Galaxy_ types?" Claudia asked.

"I actually didn't think to check their communication devices," HG confessed.

"What would you say the breakdown was between Mac's and Window's," Claudia tried.

"I don't think any of them were named Mack, but they did seem to know a great deal about the Windows operating system," HG confirmed.

"Let's try this – were they cute?" Claudia finally settled on.

"Oh yes, I do believe the majority of them would be considered 'cute' as you say," HG smiled.

"Just how closely were you doing this research?" Myka ask kidding her partner.

"Well, my charm must have worked because even a young doctor helped set up my head page for the RSVP's," HG said proudly.

"Repeat after me Linguist Queen - Face … Book, Face…Book, together - Facebook," Claudia said bravely.

"Facebook…," the Brit said. "Well, I don't see the point of that name a'tall," she conceded. "It does have faces on it but it most certainly is not a book," she argued.

"Well, let's take a look see what your new hospital BFF did for you," Claudia said pulling up the page. "OK nice job," the whiz commented when she saw the event was called " _Have a Heart_ " charity event. "HG, you're already getting confirmations."

Helena was feeling very proud of herself as Claudia scrolled down the page.

"Well, I guess it's time for me to tell Artie," HG said, taking a deep breath before diving into the deep end of the trouble pool.

* * *

Pete was whistling away as he went to the monitor that was not working to check the wires. "You're in a very good mood, Pete," Artie commented as he walked with him.

"Artie my man, I am in a _very good_ mood. I have it from a very reliable source that my stale love life is about to get a little fresher. A lot fresher if HG has done a good job," Pete winked and jabbed Artie in the ribs with his elbow. "Know what I mean?" Pete laughed and then looked at Artie.

"The charity dinner? Auctioning off dates with the agents? Ladies bidding on this," Pete said as he waved his hands at his body. "Didn't…. know…. about….. it?" Pete cringed. "I have to fix this," Pete said as he turned away from Artie's glare.

Artie opened his mouth just as the monitor kicked in and Helena's Facebook page appeared. Claudia had switched to it upstairs and it was appearing on every monitor.

"Now Artie," Pete cautioned when the blood surged in his face. "Remember what the Doc said about your blood pressure."

"Yes, she said as long as Agent Wells was anywhere in the Warehouse breathing, no medication would help," Artie said looking at the details.

"Now Artie, she did this to help us and it's also for a good cause and Artie, Vanessa talked to her about this so she knew too. Maybe she wanted to surprise you," Pete tried weakly.

"Oh I am surprised, believe me. I don't know why I am because I shouldn't put anything past her, but I am surprised," Artie said.

Pete felt guilty that he was the one who opened his mouth. He needed to rectify this, mostly because HG had told him about the nurses and doctors she met and the fantasies were already bubbling up in his head. "Look Artie, it's a _win win_ for everybody. It's a team effort. People get to know us a little better, maybe not fear us so much around April 15th, we get a couple of dates maybe, and the town gets defibrillators which is great cause you know, you don't have to worry about freaking out on HG and not being …. You know….," Pete said as he imitated being zapped by the paddles.

"Everybody wins, eh?" Artie said. Artie was going to make this into a win for him if it killed him. Helena was on her way down the stairs when Artie and Pete were on their way up.

"Just the person ….," HG said as Artie looked up at her. He pointed his finger to go back into the office.

"Hey Gramps, tell me you are not thrilled with these new monitors," Claudia said, missing Pete's vigorous head shaking.

"Oh I like them a lot. But there seems to be a glitch you might want to work on, " Artie said to her.

"Really?" Claudia asked.

"Whatever screen you are on here, displays on the monitors," Artie said hitting the Alt and Tab keys. HG's page appeared.

"Oh that glitch," Claudia said, turning away from the glare.

"Agent Wells?" Artie said.

"I was on my way down to tell you," HG started.

"Yeah, she was on her way down to tell you," Pete repeated.

"You decided to organize a fundraiser auctioning off dates with Secret Service Agents?" Artie asked.

"Well, they think we're IRS Agents," Myka tried.

"It says _'IRS Agents'_ right here," Claudia pointed out.

"And you finagled my ….. I mean Dr. Calder to go along with this?" he asked.

"If I ever _finagled_ Dr. Calder, she sure as hell…," HG started and Myka absolutely knew the next words out of her mouth would be - ' _would never forget it'_. Ever since HG had mistakenly kissed Dr. Calder and the good doctor took it upon herself to tell Artie that she could not control her biological responses to it, Artie didn't appreciate the two of them ever being together.

Myka stepped in front of Helena, to save her .

"What HG is saying Artie, is that it's a _win win_ situation. It's a team effort to give back to the community and do some good," Myka said out loud, the words only forming seconds before she said them.

"Team effort, eh?" Artie said.

"Yes, and you know how you are always telling us to make a team effort," HG said from behind Myka.

"Even Leena agreed to this," Myka said, hoping to soften the blow.

"Even Leena?" Artie said much calmer. "Well, I can see a lot of thought went into this."

"Oh yes," they all said, hoping that was true.

"And it is a charity event so we'll be doing some good in the process," he added.

"Absolutely," the agents agreed.

"And I do like that it's a _team effort_ ," Artie said his hand to his chin.

"We're a team," Pete said, grabbing Myka around the shoulders. "Through thick and thin," Myka said trying to push Pete off.

"And the people who come will bid on winning dinner with the agents?" Artie said, looking back at the detail of the page.

"And Leena," Claudia said almost laughing her relief that Artie seemed okay.

"What do those machines go for?" Artie asked. "And how many did we commit to?"

"Twelve hundred dollars and Dr. Calder asked us to raise enough money for ten of them," HG reported as Artie took out a piece of paper.

"Wow that's twelve thousand dollars divided by…that's twenty four hundred dollars an agent," he said looking around.

"Well no, Artie actually it's only Leena, Pete and Claudia who agreed to participate," Myka said.

"Yes, Myka and I are not going to …we don't need …. nor do we wish," HG started.

"Oh, but you told me this is a ' _team effort_ ' yes?" Artie asked looking around.

"Yes, but some of the team is behind the scenes, " Helena tried. No bloody was she allowing anyone to bid on Myka.

"No I think a team effort means the entire team is right out in front – putting themselves on the line for the greater good. You know – the _win win_ situation you keep telling me about," Artie said smiling.

"No bloody way," Helena tried.

"But I don't … I just want to …," Myka pleaded.

"In for a penny, in for a pound Agent Bering," Artie said. "Nice team work though," he yelled back as he went into the back file room.


	4. All is Fair in Love and War

**He that is not jealous is not in love. ~St. Augustine**

* * *

Pete joined Myka at the shoulder to block Helena from following Artie. She tried to get around them, but they put their arms out and held her back. Both of them knew it would accomplish nothing.

"No bloody …. Hell no. No!" HG summed up her displeasure. Myka turned to face the Victorian with raised eyebrows. It took Helena all of twenty seconds to devise her plan; she would bid the most money for Myka and that would take care of everything. A sly smile slowly replaced the frown on her face.

It took Artie all of ten seconds to wipe it off when the door to the file room swung open.

"Oh and guys? No bidding on each other. That's an order," he said for HG's benefit before he closed the door again.

"Eww," Claudia and Pete said. "Why would I want to …?" Pete asked and then saw the expression on his friends' faces. "Oooh, you two… are….oh yeah, how's that gonna work, HG?"

"Not bloody well, dammit," she said.

Myka was a little more accepting of her consequence. She knew playing with fire resulted in burns, but she still wasn't happy. This was all a good idea when it involved her friends and she was on the sideline, but now that she was part of the main attraction, the whole thing didn't sit well.

"Helena, I don't mind raising money for a good cause, but I don't want to feel like a piece of ….," the words were out of her mouth and then she caught the looks on Pete and Claudia's faces.

"A piece of what, Myka?" Pete asked sounding annoyed. Myka tried to back pedal. "No, what I mean was…. I would not like …. Being you know up there," Myka stammered.

"You think of it as parading around with people gawking at you and looking you up and down and every which way so they can attach a monetary value to you physically, don't you?" Pete asked.

That was pretty much what Myka thought it was, but now that she heard the words, it sounded so much worse.

"Well, I…..," Myka tried.

"Thank you, HG!" Pete said, grabbing the Brit around the waist and lifting her up. "Mister Lattimer!" she yelled, and he put her down.

"Oh come and get your _filet_ of Pete, ladies. These are _prime_ ribs baby, that's right. _Top sirloin_ ," he carried on. "All _choice_. There's going to be a bidding frenzy."

His fellow agents moaned at this showcasing except HG who was already coming up with plan B. She grabbed Myka while Claudia chased Pete out of the office to stop his rant.

"That's it, Myka," HG said.

"What is it?" Myka asked.

"Bidding frenzy! There will be so many people bidding, Artie won't know who's bidding on you," HG said.

"Helena, you know Artie is doing this for a reason. He's not happy that _we_ did this whole auction thing and he wants to make sure _we_ never do it again," Myka said. "It is only one dinner, two hours at most."

Neither of them was happy about it, but only one of them was planning to take matters into her own hands.

* * *

The more the days wore on, the more Helena realized she needed help – especially since the event was causing her more frustration than pleasure. Her sole motivation had been to find her friends new partners, not lose hers to someone in the process. Helena assessed the demographics of the groups. She decided it would be a doctor or professor who would probably bid the highest on Myka. When Leena reminded Helena that they needed a caterer, she asked if Leena could take care of that for her. Leena was more than happy to especially since the caterer was a very handsome young man who had talked to Leena on several occasions in town.

"How many people should I tell them?" Leena asked and drew a blank stare.

"How would I know?" HG asked sincerely – the first sign that things might be getting out of hand. Leena asked Claudia to check the Facebook page and sure enough, there were over three hundred confirmations. The caterer was then instructed to find a hall large enough for the attendees. The closer it got to the event, the more Helena regretted her decision.

"Helena, look it's all for a good cause and we should have known Artie would hate it," Myka said, trying to cheer her up.

"Myka, I will not be able to stand by and watch men bid on you as if you are up for grabs. I won't! I will shoot the winner," HG said, getting herself all worked up.

"Do you truly think you have anything to worry about? Helena, look at me," Myka said, turning HG by the chin to face her. "Think of it as my going undercover …for two hours," she tried. Helena's eyes grew wide. "I could disguise myself as the waitress, and if he tries anything, I could shoot him right there," HG said.

"Hey, you never know Helena. Maybe no one will bid and this will all be for nothing," Myka suggested.

"What? What do you mean _no one will bid_? I will shoot the person who does not bid on you," HG said angrily.

"You're doing an awful lot of shooting there, Agent Wells. I think that will dampen the whole concept of raising money for a charity," Myka laughed. "But I appreciate it," she said as she kissed Helena's forehead.

Helena could not for the life of her understand how so good a deed could be so punished.

The news seemed to go from bad to worse when she found out there were actually some rules about hosting a charity event and she had better have the right people in place to handle the details. The caterer said he knew someone that could take care of things when he went over the menu with Leena. Leena tried to tell Helena that the catering expense was climbing, but HG assured her - _money was no object,_ and so Leena went forward with the plans. Helena thought about what she said. "That's it!" she yelled as her own words came back to her. She was so excited, she hugged Leena for the inspiration of her own words.

* * *

"I'm pretty sure _Miss America_ prepared less for her pageant than Pete, " Claudia said the day before.

"What are you wearing for the swimsuit competition?" Myka laughed, but Pete got all excited. "Is there really? Yes!" he said.

Leena hired the licensed auctioneer because she knew it better not be anyone they knew who asked people to bid on Myka. They had done dozens of charity auctions before and were quite certain this would be a lot of fun.

"We talk about the person and get the bidding going. Then we kid with the audience and add another tidbit of information to keep the bidding going. It's all in good fun," he said, but Leena smiled uncomfortable. She was tempted to ask if they had a bullet proof vest, but didn't want to scare him.

Helena's change in demeanor the day before was so noticeable that Myka was suspicious. Myka knew she would make it through a two-hour dinner with someone, but prayed Helena would not plan anything.

"Promise me you're okay with this," Myka finally said to her the morning of the event.

"Well, I cannot tell a lie Myka," HG confessed.

"OK, but promise me you will not shoot anyone then," Myka settled for.

"I promise," HG said looking into Myka's green eyes. Every synapse in Helena's brain was firing the same message – HELL NO!

"I want your gun and Tesla," Myka said, unable to read that expression on her partner's face.

"Hmmm, anything else of mine you want, Agent Bering? I sometimes carry handcuffs. Are you going to secure me somewhere?" HG said salaciously. Myka felt her body give it over to Team Wells instantly, but she knew better than to sign her head up too.

"Just … hold that… thought," Myka said back slowly.

* * *

Vanessa had a long talk with Artie that week. She gently pointed out that Helena's intentions were good ones and it could be a positive event for everyone involved, and that he should cut Helena some slack. "Because of this event, you'll be able to yell at her in ten _new_ locations, Artie, and still be saved," the doctor teased.

"Hey Mykes, did you do your bio for the auction?" Pete asked the day of the event.

"Yes," Myka said, "I like long walks in the wood and puppies."

"I hope HG put down – _does not play well with others_ ," Pete laughed.

The newly appointed event organizer was running around hours before the affair, collecting the biographies and advising them what to wear. She spent most of her time with Pete who had pulled out every suit from his closet to try on. Leena was next, and the woman found her the easiest to deal with. She picked out a blue silk dress that looked stunning on her. Next, the woman picked out a sleeveless black dress for Claudia which the youth immediately adorned with her black leather jacket and boots as soon as the woman left.

"I want something to bring out those gorgeous green eyes," the woman said excitedly to Myka. "Oh please tell me you have something …yes!" she yelled as she found the perfect green dress in Myka's closet.

"Don't you think that's a little too…?" Myka said of the neckline, but the woman dismissed the concern.

"You'll find this hard to believe Agent Bering, but most people don't think ' _sexy_ ' when they hear _IRS Agent_. Let's shake things up a bit, ok?" she said.

Minutes later, Myka could hear the woman arguing with Helena in the next room. She knocked on the door and opened it to hear her say, "Agent Wells, you cannot claim to have written novels if you've never been published. You invented a time travel machine?" she asked laughing. "Oh Agent Wells, we can't say any of this. No one will bid on you," she said. Helena eyes widened and she extended her chin with the definite expression of "DUH!" she had mastered to date. "I think you're just a little shy, is what I think," the woman said, crossing out the things HG had written on her bio form. "Can shoot a man with a Taser faster than….. Oh Agent Wells, that might scare them!" the organizer laughed.

"As it should," HG said, and then saw Myka in the doorway. The woman busied herself finding something for Helena to wear. "This will do just fine," she said of the red dress with the black belt.

"Oh Myka," HG said.

"Helena, it will be okay, I promise you," Myka said sincerely. She had rationalized that it was for a good cause and that it would be two hours of dinner.

"I am sorry I got you into this," Helena said for both of them.

"It's okay sweetie. We've been through worse things. No one will actually be in danger tonight," Myka laughed and then stopped. "Promise me, Helena. No one will actually be in danger." Making all these promises was really curtailing HG's options, but she promised.

"Now remember ladies, we have to leave in an hour to get there and get set up. The first ninety minutes is a cocktail hour where the bidders get to talk to all of you," the event organizer said.

"Leave in an hour?" HG asked looking up at Myka through thick eyelashes. "Plenty of time," she said, grabbing Myka and pulling her inside the bedroom.

"Helena, I don't think we have time ….Oh!" Myka said, realizing the only thing there wasn't time for was …..discussion.


	5. Let the Bidding Begin

**"Love goes by haps; Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with traps." Shakespeare, ** _**Much Ado About Nothing**_

* * *

The agents arrived with their newly appointed handler right on time. "Now remember, when guests arrive, they will be welcomed into the cocktail hour where they will have time to meet you. I'll keep things moving along so that you don't get held up too long with any one person. Then, we will hand out auction cards with numbers on them to each guest who wants to bid. They'll have something to eat and then the bidding will begin," she said without taking a breath. "OK, here they are now," she said as she got a message through the earpiece nestled under her hair. "It's show time!" she said, leaving the group.

"I really wish you had allowed me to bring the Tesla," HG said knowing the first person she would shoot was the organizer. Myka would have laughed if HG had been kidding.

"To your stations," the woman yelled and her staff directed the agents where to stand.

Artie and Vanessa walked in together and approached HG. Vanessa nudged Artie ever so slightly. "Agent Wells, I just want to say that I had my doubts about this whole event, but after much thought, I can see how it will be a good thing. Yes, I think it will be a good thing," he said, trying to sound positive.

Helena didn't care who thought what at the moment. She was busy looking for someone. She did not stay at her appointed station, but instead made her way over to the guest she had been looking for. The young tech Clark was trying to make his way up front to introduce himself to Claudia when Helena approached. His buddy elbowed him to take note. "Oh, Agent Wells," the young man said, taking in the site of HG in the red dress that accentuated her figure. "Gentlemen," HG said looking around at some of the guys from the computer store. "Clark darling, I need to speak to you," HG said sweetly gently pulling the man away. "Oooh," his friends cheered him on. Clark wasn't the only one whose attention Helena caught. Many of the professors and doctors were interested in speaking to the IRS Agent in red, but she disappeared into the lobby with the youth. The hallway was filled with people, so HG took him into the stairwell.

"Agent Wells?" the young man asked unsure of her intentions. "I hope you're not angry because I wanted to talk to that other agent," he said.

"Pardon?" Helena asked annoyed at the delay. "No, not at all. Bid away for Miss Donovan's hand," HG said.

"Ah who am I kidding? I don't have a chance of winning," the young man said and HG took a deep breath. This wasn't supposed to be about him.

"Pardon …again?" HG said exasperated.

"Did you see some of those suits in there? They'll be able to bid way more than me," he lamented.

" _Than I,"_ HG corrected him.

"You're bidding on her, too?" he asked aghast, slumping against the wall.

"Oh bloody hell," HG murmured realizing she could not get him to focus. "Forget the bidding for a moment. I will get you a date with Miss Donovan," HG said without thinking.

"Really? How?" he asked with renewed interest.

"Don't worry about that now. I promise you I will make it happen, but first you must do me a favor," HG said slowly.

Ten minutes later, Helena's plan was in place and she returned with her cohort to the room.

* * *

"Well, I've been looking all over for you," a woman said behind Helena. She turned to see the doctor who had insisted on helping her set up the invitation for the event.

"Oh, good evening, Doctor ….," HG said and couldn't remember her name.

"Call me Ellen," the woman said taking HG's hand and holding it. HG's stare went from her hand to the woman's eyes which at the moment were scanning the Brit from head to toe. "You look delicious," the doctor said smiling right at Helena. Someone flirting with Helena was never a surprise, but what gave HG pause was that she had not given any thought to - _who_ would be bidding _on her_. She had been so focused on winning the bid on Myka, that it escaped her to put a plan in place for herself. And now it was too late.

"You…..?" HG asked. The woman's full lips slowly smiled as she nodded her head.

She leaned into Helena and whispered, "And I promise you – _no one_ can outbid me."

She didn't look at HG as she walked away; certain that she had just calmed her nerves. In reality, she had done nothing of the sort. Helena knew how upset she was at the thought of someone making a move on Myka, but she had not thought too much about how Myka felt. She would march over and tell Myka to get someone to bid for her and at any cost. As she was about to do that though, the event organizer was at a microphone telling everyone to go inside, and those who would be bidding should collect an auction marker. The doctor took one from the table and waved at Helena. "Oh bloody hell," was all she could say.

"Is that an English accent I hear?" asked a well-dressed older man.

"Pardon?" Helena said.

"You're from England, right?" he asked as he reached for a numbered marker.

"Oh yes," HG answered to be polite, but her eyes were searching for Myka.

"Number 235, my _lucky_ number," he said hoping to keep Helena's attention.

"It shan't be tonight," was all HG said before pushing through the crowd to find her partner.

* * *

HG expected to find her friend frantically searching for her, or at the very least, frantic. But Myka was still talking to a small group of gentlemen about the courses offered at the university for adults thinking of going into law, and the doctors were asking her why she didn't continue with her premed studies. Helena had not planned on a lot of things - and high on that list was Myka actually enjoying herself. She instinctively reached behind her because her temper was blocking her throat and the words couldn't get out. Myka had seen to it that Pete locked up all the tesla's and firearms. "Bollocks," HG finally said, because there was no weapon on her belt.

The men said their goodbyes, promising to do their best in the bidding. Myka was all smiles, but relieved that part was over. When the crowd dissipated, there stood Helena, arms crossed.

"There you are," Myka said, taking another sip of the wine that had settled her nerves.

"Where have you been?" the curly haired agent asked.

"Where? Have I? Never mind where I have been. Where have you been?" HG asked in a hushed voice. Jealousy clouded the usually clear thinking Brit.

"I've been right here – at my station," Myka laughed.

"And who are they?" Helena asked. Myka pulled her head back, confused by the question.

"They are the guests you invited?" she answered.

"Ladies! Ladies, please," the event organizer was shouting now because things were getting behind schedule. Myka waved back and took HG by the arm.

"I have a plan," Myka said laughing a little bit too much. HG looked into Myka's almost empty glass.

"What is that?" HG asked.

"Wine! Want some?" Myka asked amazed.

"What is your plan, Myka?" HG asked in a whisper certain that her brilliant partner had spent the time devising something that would get them out of this mess.

"I … can't remember," Myka said and hiccuped.

"Really? You bloody can't remember?" HG asked. Myka looked up at the ceiling, now holding onto Helena to steady herself.

"Oh yeah, I'm gonna get drunk," she whispered in HG's ear."No one will want to bid on a drunken agent," Myka said almost giggling.

"Oh bloody foolproof that is," HG said.

* * *

The event organizer was pulling Myka by the elbow to sit at one table and another event person was gently guiding Helena to sit down at another one. From where she was sitting, HG could see and hear everything at Myka's table.

Myka leaned over at HG and gave her a semi- drunken wink and pointed her finger at her. "Miss you Helena," she shouted over across the tables. Helena waved back. Slightly inebriated Myka was adorable. But this was her plan? From the looks on the men's faces, it wasn't working.

The problem with Myka's plan was also in the timing. By the time the meal was done, and she had sipped on glasses of water, not wine, her buzz was gone and the nervous feeling returned. Helena chatted up the people at her table as her mind raced trying to fix the next problem.

Myka, in the meantime had accepted their fate, or so she thought.

Helena excused herself and came up behind Myka's chair. It was from that vantage point that she realized just how revealing Myka's dress was, and she slowly raised her head to see if anyone else was looking directly there. One doctor was, and when he saw the look on HG's face, he pulled back in surprise.

"Give me that," HG said to the waiter and within seconds, he was stripped of his black jacket. "You look cold, Myka dear," HG said pulling the jacket up her partner's arm.

"No, I'm fine…," Myka tried, but the jacket was going on. Myka sat there smiling as her friend dressed her and commented ' _better_ ' when the jacket closed over Myka's chest.

"Myka darling," HG started to whisper in her ear so she could tell her what the plan was, but it was foiled again by the woman announcing that the bidding was about to begin.

"If Agent Lattimer will join us up here," the auctioneer announced and the room erupted into applause. Helena took her seat again, but this time Artie and Vanessa were at her table. Artie may have become optimistic, but he wasn't stupid, and he knew an unwatched Helena could be a problem.

"I can't thank you enough, Agent Wells," Vanessa said, leaning over and touching Helena's arm. HG smiled in response.

"Ladies, ladies, please," the auctioneer said to quiet the crowd. "This is Pete Lattimer," he tried and the clapping started all over. "Agent Lattimer is our first agent to bid on this evening. How are you doing, Agent Lattimer?" he asked.

"I'm good, really good," Pete said smiling out to the crowd. Women whistled from various parts of the room and HG turned in shock at so public a display. _Is this what it was going to be like?_

"Agent Lattimer likes long walks in the woods, puppies and sunsets," the man read from Pete's bio page and women oohed and aahed.

"Oh bullocks," HG said and smiled uncomfortably at Artie.

"Let's start the bidding at one hundred dollars," the man said and the bidding began. Calls from all parts of the room started as markers were raised and women shouted out their bids. "Six hundred," one woman said. Pete smiled out at the audience and opened his dinner jacket and flung it over his shoulder, striking a pose. "Ladies, Agent Lattimer is licensed to carry a weapon," the man said slowly and the room filled with applause. "One thousand dollars," came the bid. "Two thousand," came another call and the man had a hard time keeping up with the raised markers. "Twenty two hundred, twenty five, do I hear yes, we have three thousand, going once, going twice, won by marker 357," he said as he slammed the gavel down. The woman holding the marker screamed in delight as a group of five women stood up. The nurses had pooled their money to increase their chances and it paid off. Pete was having dinner with all of them.

Helena did not care for the mood in the room. She had apparently forgotten to ask anyone what this was like. "They are not going to…?" she was asking Artie and didn't hear the man call Leena to the stage.

"Leena is the cog that makes the wheel turn at the B&B, her friends tell me. She was too shy to write much about herself, but we have it on good authority that Leena is the overseer to many of the agents' operations. Now don't hold that against her," the man kidded and Leena blushed. "Can we start the bidding at one hundred dollars?" he said as the markers went up. The men were more subdued as they raised their markers for Leena and soon the bidding was over fifteen hundred dollars. "Two thousand," a young doctor called out. The professor who had taken a great deal of interest offered twenty five hundred and the doctor didn't back down. "We have twenty five, do I hear twenty seven? Yes twenty seven, going once, going twice," he said and was about to slam down the gavel when a voice in the back said, "Three thousand." Leena could not see who said it, but it became the winning bid. "Marker – get than number would you please?" he asked his aid because he did not see the number. Leena smiled when she saw that it was not a doctor or a professor, but the tall, dark handsome caterer.

"Will Miss Donovan please come to the stage?" he asked next and Claudia was all set. She decided that she was going to have fun tonight and she did. The tech guys seated at several tables erupted in shout outs. "You have some very adoring fans," the auctioneer kidded her and she blew kisses out to them. "Agent Donovan speaks several languages, including data source, extensions language, numerical analysis, multi-dispatch, curly bracket and fourth generational languages to name a few," the auctioneer read off her page. It was the technical equivalent of reading off her measurements and the tech guys hooted and hollered. This was a very ambitious group and before the bidding could start, one yelled out "Five hundred dollars." "Ok then," said the auctioneer, "Do I hear…?" "One thousand!" "Two thousand!" "Twenty five hundred," "Three thousand," were the shouts as the geeks took over their own bidding format. "Four thousand!" came the last call and could not be matched. "Marker 678 is the winner," the auctioneer declared.

When the noise settled down, Vanessa leaned over to Helena and said; "Agent Wells, you're more than halfway to your goal," and she would have been if Artie had allowed her to leave her seat. "Will Agent Bering please come up," and Artie placed a hand gently on Helena's arm. "I know this is hard," he said, believing with all this heart he was being sympathetic. Of course, he was expecting an expression of sincere thanks in return. What he got was something between – ' _I know you're my boss, but please remove your hand and there will be hell to pay for this_ '. Artie immediately turned back to show Vanessa that his good efforts were not paying off …as he told her they wouldn't. Vanessa patted his leg in sympathy.

* * *

Myka walked out onto the stage and the audience roared. It was a combination of the gorgeous looking woman on stage in the plunging neckline and the inhibitions that were flowing almost as freely as the liquor. When Leena asked Helena if she wanted an open or closed bar, the Brit naturally thought closed meant none at all. So open bar it was.

"Marry me, Agent Bering," came a shout from the back of the room. Helena's head swung around quickly, hoping to identify the man …. For later.

"Agent Bering, welcome," the auctioneer said seeing that he had a crowd favorite. "Now you're bio page here says you're about to be put on assignment oversees, undercover, with no contact for an indeterminate amount of time…immediately," he read slowly from her page. Myka frowned and pulled the page over and immediately recognized the script lettering.

"Not quite yet," Myka said smiling at Helena.

"So we can safely assume you'll be here to have dinner with the winner, Agent Bering?" the man laughed.

" _Oh you can count on it_ ," HG said under her breath.

"Shall we start the bidding at …," and the man's momentary hesitation resulted in one professor shouting, "One thousand dollars." Artie watched HG carefully, but she sat there with her hands folded in her lap. "Two thousand," called out a doctor. "Twenty five hundred!" "Three thousand," came the shouts. Helena started to tap her fingers together because she had yet to hear a familiar voice. "Agent Bering likes to go for long walks….," the auctioneer read from her page. "Four thousand," called a professor who was sitting at Myka's table. Artie could see HG getting more and more irritated.

"It will be over soon, HG," he tried to assure her, but HG didn't want it over until she heard the young man start her bidding. _Where the bloody hell is he_ , HG thought.

She swung around to find him at the table and stared at him until her visual grip caught his attention. She widened her eyes at him.

" _Oh now_?" his lips mouthed and Helena swore she would cause him harm, great harm, if he didn't start bidding. "Eight thousand dollars!" the young man shouted as he jumped up from the table!

"Well, that's a very generous bid, young man. You do know we ask for the money before the agent goes to dinner with you, right?" the auctioneer laughed.

"Got it here!" a very nervous Clark announced. Indeed, he had that and more in cash in a satchel that had been given to him. "I can bid more!" he yelled out. The audience laughed at what they thought was an overzealous admirer.

"I don't think you need to outbid yourself, young man," the auctioneer kidded and then slammed the gavel down. "Marker 125 is the winner," the man said.

Helena smiled at Myka as she made her way back to the table. "Thank you, Agent Bering," Vanessa said to try and soften the uncomfortable look on Myka's face. She smiled, reminding herself that it was all for a good cause.

"Well, I think that more than covers the expense of the machines, Doctor Calder," HG said certain no further bidding was necessary. HG had a point. They had just raised eighteen thousand dollars.

"Our last agent of the evening is Agent Wells," the auctioneer called out and applause erupted. "Artie, I don't think this is at all necessary considering we have raised enough money," HG tried. Artie would have agreed, but he looked around and thought what bad press they would get if they failed at this event.

"Sorry Agent Wells, your bidders await you," he said apologetically. HG hesitated and looked at Myka, who smiled. There was nothing she could do without alerting them to the fact that she had just won the bid on Myka.

"Right-e-o then," she said taking a deep breath. She walked on the stage and looked out on the tables filled with the people who came to donate their money for a good cause.

"Well, it says here Agent Wells," the man tried to make out what was written after the event coordinator had scribbled out what HG had written, "…that you have a _vivid_ imagination." This brought applause for all the wrong reasons. Helena stared at the audience.

"Can we start the bidding at …," the man started and a male voice from the back called out "Three thousand dollars." "Five," followed and then "Seven thousand," in succession. The auctioneer wasn't ready for the frenzy and had to remind them that they could not set the bids themselves. "Eight thousand," was followed by a promise of nine. HG looked down at Myka whose eyes were glued to the table.

And then...

"Twenty... thousand... dollars," came the next call slowly and the audience gasped … and then the room went silent as no more bids were made. "Marker 69 is the winner," the auctioneer said slowly.

"Oh bloody hell," HG murmured as the gavel came down and everyone applauded. The doctor winked at Helena, making good on her promise that she would not be outbid.

Myka grabbed the nearest wine glass and gulped down the contents, and it wasn't even hers.


	6. Don't Play With 'Matches'

" **Anyone can catch your eye, but it takes someone special to catch your heart." ~Author Unknown**

* * *

"Now that's odd," Vanessa said to Artie. "That's Doctor Tobias; she's married to Fred Tobias who runs the hospital. And her father is the mayor of Univille."

"She must have very deep pockets," Artie commented, half interested.

"Very, but it's not her pockets that concern me," Vanessa said, more to herself. "Artie, that woman is highly regarded and well-connected. You don't want her saying anything negative about the 'IRS Agents', if you know what I mean," Vanessa whispered. Artie did know. This was the maiden voyage into the center of Univille's public eye and it had to be a positive one.

As if on cue, HG took her seat and announced, "There is no bloody way I am going to dinner with that woman." Artie pulled HG's arm.

"Listen Agent Wells, now is not the time to tell everyone you're not playing by the rules," he said, hardly moving his smiling lips. "Your date is very well-connected here in Univille, and we don't want her saying anything negative."

"But…," HG started and Artie pulled her in closer around the shoulder. "Great job, Agent Wells," he said emphasizing each word. Trying to get Helena to be more subtle was like asking Pete to be less full of himself.

"Have you touched an artifact?" HG asked because there had to be an explanation for Artie's sudden surge of courage.

Artie laughed, "Opstay alkingtay aboutway artifactsway," Artie said trying to disguise his message. HG stared at him as if he were insane.

"He's trying to speak pig Latin," Vanessa tried, but HG thought she meant _Latin_ Latin.

"Then you should say, _obturatio meditentur artificialia_ ," HG corrected him because she possessed flawless Latin.

"Ohway otherbray," Artie sighed. ( _Oh brother)._

"If I could have everyone's attention please," the auctioneer asked and the room went silent. "We are pleased to announce that the " _Have a Heart'_ event tonight collected _thirty eight thousand dollars_ ," he said with enthusiasm and the crowd cheered and clapped. "Our lucky winners will be notified in the next few minutes where they and their dates will be spending Valentine dinner tomorrow night," he said.

"What?" HG asked. She never said the dinners were to be on Valentine's Day.

"What is the problem, Agent Wells?" Artie asked. How could Helena be in two places at once?

Just then Clark approached the table. He wanted to make sure Helena was going to make good on her promise, and he wanted to return her money. Clark was nothing if not honest, but his scruples were going to ruin things and when HG saw him coming, she jumped up from her chair.

"Well, here's the lucky man who won a dinner with Myka," HG said, and prayed she wouldn't have to harm him in front of so many people. "Myka, this is …what is your name again?" HG asked as she placed her hand on his arm and squeezed… hard.

"Clark, did you forget?" he asked sincerely.

"Of course, Clark from the computer store. Myka, this is Clark who won the bid," HG said. "Hello Clark," Myka said shaking his hand.

"Wow, you're really hot," he blurted out. Helena closed her eyes and silently groaned.

"Well that's very kind of you to say," Myka said, now happy to be back at HG's side.

Helena looked at Clark cautiously, afraid he did not possess the common sense to keep certain details to himself, but something had caught his attention and he was mute. HG followed the trail of his eyes to her partner's exposed chest. "Look at me Clark," HG said in a hushed voice. "I have harmed men larger than you for doing less offensive things," the Brit snarled and scared the hell out of him.

"I was just returning your…," he tried and now Helena had to compose herself.

"Yes, tomorrow evening. You'll meet Agent Bering there? That's just grand," HG said as she walked him in the opposite direction.

"She won't harm him, will she?" Vanessa asked concerned for the young man's safety.

"I better go…," Myka said, sharing the same concern.

* * *

"She is really, really hot," Clark said again because he was sorry he hadn't asked HG to fix him up with Myka.

"Clark! Eyes on me!" she said because she heard Myka say it to Pete when he wouldn't listen. "When Agent Bering comes over, you will tell her you will meet her at Chez Louise tomorrow night at 8 o'clock," HG said in a low voice.

"That's a really expensive restaurant. I can't afford that," he said forgetting the part where even though he won, he didn't win. Helena braced herself and groaned.

"You are not going. You are pretending to go, remember?" HG said with what little patience she could muster.

"Oh right," the young man said. "But technically, they think I ….," he said and met the dark eyes of the woman whose money he was holding. "So you don't think she would," he pressed.

"Mister… Clark. What I think is that you are most fortunate to have crossed my path this evening and still be alive," HG said unable to hold back.

"Wow, you have a really bad tempter," the young man shared.

"Oh my God," HG said as she closed her eyes.

* * *

Helena's loss of tolerance registered on her body like an LED scroll flashing – _OUT OF PATIENCE OUT OF PATIENCE_. Myka knew that body language very well, but figured HG was reading this young man the long list of rules for the upcoming dinner.

"Everything okay here?" Myka asked and meant, ' _you're not going to hurt him, right Helena_?'

"Oh yes, everything is dandy. Yes, just fine," HG said, smiling a fake smile.

"Clark was just telling me the plans for your dinner," HG said, and Clark added, "date."

"Well, tell me Clark, where are we going?" Myka asked trying to take over the conversation.

" _Share Louis_ ," he said proudly. It Myka a minute to translate that into _Chez Louise_.

"Well that's lovely. I am looking forward to it," Myka said mustering up her enthusiasm.

"Are you sure you want to have dinner _with me_?" Clark asked, hoping to prove he was the real choice.

"My kingdom for a Tesla," HG wailed.

"You won the bid, so yes, I am looking forward to …dinner," Myka said to be polite.

"Say goodnight to Agent Bering," Helena instructed him and he did, but not before putting the bag at HG's feet.

"He's kind of sweet," Myka said to HG as he walked away backwards, waving the whole time. "Oh, you forgot your bag," Myka called out and retrieved it. Helena stared at the young man as he came back.

"Oh no, that's not …..I mean, it's ok?" he stammered unsure of what to do.

"Clark, don't be silly. Take your bag and say good night," HG instructed him. Clark hesitated and then retrieved it from Myka. He smiled uncomfortably, unsure of what to do. Helena nodded her head in the direction of the door and he finally took his cue. Myka shook her head at how nervous he seemed. She was just about to ask HG if she had read the poor boy the riot act when her attention was diverted by the woman walking toward them.

* * *

"Agent Wells, I do apologize," Dr. Tobias said as she approached HG. "Oh hello," she said to Myka. "Dr. Tobias."

"Agent Bering," Myka said and shook her hand tightly. Now that Myka got a closer look at this woman, she really didn't like her.

"Yes, well all this ' _Agent this'_ and ' _Agent that'_ , I do hope I get to call you by your first name at dinner," Ellen said smiling, and Myka could feel her face getting red. "Helena, I do apologize, but I simply cannot make dinner tomorrow night, so I've asked the event people to make arrangements for Sunday night instead. Valentine's Day is my anniversary and my husband has already made plans," she explained. Myka liked the sound of that. "I will send a car for you Sunday at seven thirty," Ellen said without asking.

"That won't be…," HG tried to say and was promptly dismissed.

"Don't be silly, I insist," the doctor said. "Dr. Calder," Ellen called out as Vanessa and Artie approached them. "Dr. Tobias," she said shaking Artie's hand. "So you're the only thing that tears Dr. Calder away from her work," Ellen said to Artie flattering him.

"Well, I …," Artie was trying to find the words.

"Well I am sure I speak for everyone here tonight when I say; "Bravo, Agent Wells. Job well done. "Well, I really have to go. It was nice meeting you, Agents Bering, Nielsen. Dr. Calder, always a pleasure to see you," the woman said. "And you," she said turning to Helena, " I will see you Sunday evening at _Chez Louise_ ," she said in a perfect French accent. She started to walk away and then turned back.

"Oh and Agent Wells," she said leaning into HG's ear and whispered something Helena did not understand at all. Helena watched as Myka's stare followed the woman out the door. Oh yes, there would be a discussion about this later, HG knew.

* * *

Pete came over surrounded by the five young nurses who had pooled their money and won the bid. He could not have looked happier. "We're going out to get something to eat. Anyone want to join us?" Pete asked.

"We will," Claudia chimed in. She was arm in arm with the manager of the computer store. "Agent Wells," he said. "This was a great idea." Helena lips moved upward, but it would hardly be called a smile.

Then Leena came over with the caterer. "HG, I hate to mix business with pleasure, but they want to settle up the bill," she said apologetically. "Yes, of course," HG said because nothing about this night was going the right way. She signed off on anything they put in front of her and handed Leena her black charge card and asked her to finish it up.

By all accounts, the night was a huge success. It was the party of the year by Univille standards with more than enough money raised for the defibrillators. Yet, in spite of all the success of the evening, the only thing that Helena was happy about was that she would get to surprise Myka at dinner tomorrow night.

The agents said goodnight to Artie and Vanessa, who thanked Helena again for coming up with the idea in the first place. "Bloody brilliant," HG said to a bemused Vanessa.

"She's a challenge to read," she said to Artie who responded; "Tell me about it."

* * *

When all was done, it was only Myka and HG returning to the house, and they couldn't have been happier.

"Well, Pete, Leena and Claudia all looked very happy this evening, Helena so I would say your matchmaking efforts paid off," Myka said.

"Yes, well I had no way of knowing we would be dragged into darling or I would never have started this," HG said apologetically.

"Not your fault, sweetie. Artie got us into this," Myka said. "I'm only curious about two things," Myka said as they made their way up stairs.

"Yes darling," HG asked as she followed.

"Where do you think a salesclerk in a computer store comes up with eight thousand dollars?" Myka said stopping outside her door and pulling HG into her.

"Perhaps he's a savvy investor," HG said acting innocent.

"And what is up with that doctor?" Myka asked and this question had a very different tone. Being in Myka's hands, literally and figuratively, felt wonderful to Helena and she didn't want anything to spoil it.

"Oh her? I think she's got more money that she knows what to do with. I was probably the safe bid. Probably has a jealous husband," HG said in gasps as Myka placed kisses on her neck and throat.

"Aha," Myka said as Helena took deep breaths. "Well, I will tell you one thing, Helena Wells. I may be undressing you now, but you can bet I will be picking out your outfit for that dinner," Myka said placing a firm hand on Helena's derriere.

"Are you…jealous?" Helena asked, both surprised and excited.

"I'm no saint, Helena," Myka said defensively.

"We're going to want proof of that," HG teased as Myka pulled her onto the bed.


	7. V Day

" **If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun." Katharine Hepburn**

* * *

Helena woke up ready to greet the day with only one challenge – keep her surprise a secret.

"Happy Valentine's Day, my love," she said to Myka when the younger agent finally opened her eyes.

"Happy Valentine's Day to you, too," Myka said.

Helena reached into the nightstand on her side of the room and pulled out an envelope. Myka always enjoyed Helena's cards – always made by hand with sentiments written in HG's beautiful script. This was a puzzle purse, a piece of paper folded geometrically into little squares and triangles, and then folded over until it was one small square.

As Myka opened it, each page had a drawing or a saying on it. Helena had spent days sketching little red hearts and flowers with green leaves. Sayings such as _; I am blessed to have you in my life_ and _the heavens are missing an angel for she is right here by my side_ adorned the boxes. Myka looked like a child on Christmas morning as she gently opened each flap and read the contents, until she reached the center box.

" _Mon coeur t'appartient pour toujours_ ," she read and tears welled up in her eyes. ( _My heart belongs to you forever_ ).

"It's beautiful, Helena," Myka said as HG wiped a tear from her cheek. No one had ever treated Myka as kindly as Helena.

"Now yours," Myka said as she opened the drawer on her side of the bed. She took out a small package, wrapped in tissue paper stamped with pink and red hearts and tied with pink ribbon. Helena sat up in bed and opened the gift hurriedly. Inside was a leather journal with a leather string to bind it. In the small box was a fountain pen, the only kind of instrument worthy of Helena's fine script, Myka thought.

"They are lovely, Myka," HG said as she ran her hand over the soft leather with her initials embossed on the bottom.

"I want you to write, Helena," Myka said softly.

"What shall I write, darling?" the Brit smiled.

"Anything," Myka said and meant it. Anything out of that woman's head interested Myka.

"Shall I write all the things I intend to do to you when you return from your dinner?" HG teased, running her tongue over her lip, but not looking at Myka. Myka's body reacted instantly.

" _The HG Wells Manual on Lovemaking_? Hmmm, I like it," Myka teased. "Although you might want to make sure you perfect your techniques before you publish," Myka said before pulling HG into her.

"That's a good point, Myka, but perhaps I will need more test subjects?" HG taunted Myka's brain as she rendered her body useless.

"This is not one of those _open_ relationships, _darling_ ," Myka said, emphasizing HG's term of endearment.

The phrase struck Helena.

' _I have a very open relationship with my husband, Helena'_ , is what the doctor had whispered in her ear.

Helena never did get back to that though. Myka distracted her for much of the morning. She insisted on bringing HG what turned about to be more lunch than breakfast in bed since they would not be having dinner together.

Myka didn't want to spoil the surprise that she already knew about, so she went along with HG pouting about not being able to spend dinner with her. "I know, it really is a shame," Myka said almost convincingly. She knew Helena would not allow anyone to win that bid – and she wasn't surprised that it was a timid tech guy who placed the bid for Helena.

* * *

"Will you be up when I get back?" Myka teased.

"Of course I will, and if he gets fresh Myka, I want you to call me," HG said sounding serious.

Myka played her part – asking HG if she didn't think the red, tight-fitting dress was too much – but HG insisted she needed to wear red on Valentine's Day.

"I don't want to give him the wrong idea," Myka said looking at her figure in the full length mirror.

Helena asked Leena to ask Myka to drop her off at her dinner destination so that she could see Myka off and then rush to the restaurant first. She wanted Myka to be escorted to the table, expecting to see young Clark, but HG would be there instead. If Myka didn't know Helena and her jealous streak so well, she might have been able to pull it off.

Right on cue, Myka and Leena walked out the door at 7:30 and HG shot up the stairs to change. She put her new black dress and high heel shoes. She knocked on Pete's door to come out because he was dropping her off at the restaurant.

"Mr. Lattimer!" HG said having never seen him look so handsome. Pete was in a black tuxedo, white shirt with a red bow tie.

"I don't want to disappoint the ladies," he said beaming.

"Oh you shan't, I am certain of that," HG complimented him as they walked downstairs.

"Come on Claudia," he yelled and the young agent appeared decked out in red dress and black jacket, no boots, but shoes. HG and Pete stared as she descended the steps.

"You look….," Pete said taken aback at how mature she looked. "…..Beautiful," HG finished the thought.

"Oh thanks guys," Claudia said blushing. "Not too much?" she said sticking her foot out.

"No, you look …..," HG said.

"Grown up," Pete finished.

"Oh good, maybe I won' get carded," Claudia said. This admission prompted Pete to go into parent mode.

"OK, now listen to me young lady, no ….. ok ….. anything," he said unprepared to give this speech. Helena had to smile as he tried to remember all the warnings.

"No funny stuff," Pete said, and Claudia purposely asked, "You mean like jokes?"

"No, I don't mean jokes. I mean no hanky panky," he tried. This made Claudia spit out her next laugh.

"Hanky what?" she laughed.

"HG, help me out here. _Oh look who I'm asking for help_ ," Pete said a little too loudly.

Helena stared at him. "Don't do anything I wouldn't do," HG smiled mischievously, walking out to the car.

"Oh great, right like that really narrows it down," Pete complained as joined them in the SUV.

Helena smiled all the way as Pete continued his pseudo lecture and Claudia tripped him up each step of the way.

"What are telling me to be careful for? You're the one going out with a bunch of nurses, for Pete's sake! Pun intended," Claudia said back.

"I am a little more experienced, I can handle five ladies. I'm used to the …attention," Pete tried.

"Oh well, if this is about attention and experience, I think I'll ask HG," Claudia shot back.

Pete caught Helena's smile in the rear view mirror. "You're only encouraging her," Pete admonished HG.

* * *

He pulled up outside the fancy restaurant at 7:45. "Here you go, my lady," Pete said as he got out and opened the door for Helena.

"Thank you, kind sir," HG kidded him. And just before she was about to leave, she turned back to him.

"Pete?"

"Yeah, HG?" he asked fixing his tuxedo jacket. The sight of Pete all dressed up… and happy… was a sight to behold, she thought.

"Those are five very fortunate women indeed," she said.

"Thanks, HG," Pete said, and wanted to show her how much he appreciated all she did to make this night happen. If it were Myka, he would have kissed her on the cheek, but he was less certain what to do with Helena. He started to move toward her, but changed his mind, and then awkwardly grabbed her hand, bent down, and kissed it. Helena smiled at the gesture, bowed her head slightly in response and waved goodbye as they left. She was pleased to see her friends so happy, and delighted that she has something to do with that in some small way.

* * *

Myka had just dropped Leena off at the ice skating rink where her date, Kenneth had asked her to meet him. "Do you ice skate?" was what he asked her, and when she said yes, he said he had the perfect place to meet. She didn't want to say no, but ice skating was not what she thought of when she thought of a Valentine dinner. She walked into the rink expecting to see dozens of couples and families, but the rink was dark. The only light was on the ice itself, off in the distance. Leena started to get nervous and wondered if Myka had left. Just then, she was approached by a man dressed like a waiter.

"I'm armed," she lied. The man looked at her as if she wasn't speaking English.

"Miss Leena?" he asked, as he offered his arm. Leena accepted it, but only after she decided she could take him. The closer she got to the rink, the more she could hear the violins playing off to the side, and realized the music was live. Four musicians were located off to the end of the ice rink on what appeared to be a circular platform. Leena looked to the other side and there at the end of the red carpet was another round platform, complete with dinner table and chairs. Kenneth walked the length of the runner to take Leena's hand.

"When you said you liked ice skating, I thought the least I could do was make it fun," he said as he walked her to the table.

"Well, actually I said I liked to watch it," Leena said, amazed by the set up.

"Yes, I know," Kenneth said and nodded his head. The waiter put a warm blanket around Leena's shoulders and Kenneth sat on the same side of the table. A spot light went onto the ice and the musicians played and suddenly appeared the littlest ice skaters gliding onto the ice. They skated across the ice clumsily, but never lost their balance. Then they were joined by two older girls who twirled and did figure eights with ease. Two teenagers joined them and they all skated together to the music. When it was over, they rushed to the platform, stopping just in time.

"How was that Uncle Kenneth," the youngest asked. "That Clare was wonderful. Everyone, this is Miss Leena. Leena, these are my wonderful nieces who agreed to perform for you tonight," he said beaming. Leena said hello and thanked each of the girls.

"You sure know how to impress a woman," Leena said smiling.

"Them? No, cheap labor," he smiled as he poured wine.

"This is really …lovely," Leena said, amazed that she didn't feel a bit cold.

"It's just the beginning," Kenneth said.

* * *

Pete pulled up to the restaurant and there in the window waved his five lovely dates. Each one was dressed with some article of clothing in red. He grabbed the five roses from the back seat.

"Ah Mr. Lattimer, your party has been waiting anxiously for you," the maître d said to him, winking at Pete.

Pete greeted each of the ladies, handed them a rose, and sat in the chair they had saved just for him. Each one of them asked him questions and for a while, it looked as if he was at a tennis match. When he burned his tongue on the appetizer, the two closest grabbed ice, and a cold soaked napkin and placed it on his tongue. Yes, Pete liked dating nurses. He sampled food from each of their plates, mostly because they insisted and each gave him the sample on their folk. "Are you guys worried about germs," he asked seriously. That led to jokes about being dirty which led to the suggestion of dancing and the plans were made. Pete was going to work off that meal dancing.

Claudia had serious second thoughts about the whole thing when she walked into the Hard Rock Café, looking for her date. Why did she let HG talk her into this? It was a ridiculous idea. She didn't care if the Brit had the scariest cold hard look she had ever seen, she was going to tell her in no uncertain terms that this was l-a-m-e and her fault. She was about to walk out, the feeling of being stood up surging in her stomach, when Brandon walked in. He had the number '678' plastered to his forehead as he approached her. The gesture made Claudia laugh out loud and relax.

An hour later, she was arguing with him over the future of tablets and loving every moment of it.

* * *

Helena was escorted to the table she had selected because its location would prevent Myka was seeing her when she walked in. She told her maître d' that she wanted him to bring Myka to the table when she arrived, describing what she had on. Helena sat back, with the Cheshire grin on her face that at this very moment, all of her friends were enjoying themselves on Valentine's Day. It was one minute to 8 o'clock and Helena took a deep breath of excitement because she knew how prompt Myka was.

At that very same moment, Myka was walking into the restaurant and the maître d was escorting her over to the table. Heads turned as people looked to see this stunning woman walk through in a tight red dress with legs that didn't end. More than one man had his ankle kicked to get his attention back. Myka took a deep breath, and rehearsed her surprise look so that when she saw HG she would be convincing. She had to give it to Helena; changing the restaurant at the last minute to throw her off. She would give her A for effort.

Myka purposely didn't look across the table as the waiter held the chair for her. "I'm sorry if I'm late, Clark, " she said as her opening line, and looked up ready to be look shocked. And she really was, because there across from her stood the young man, beaming.

"Wow, you look smokin' hot," he said out loud and laughter erupted at the tables near them.

"Clark?" Myka said, looking around at the other tables. "What are you doing here?"

"Agent Bering, I won the bet remember," the young man said and handed Myka a bouquet of flowers.

"Thank you, Clark, but are you sure?" Myka asked wondering how she could have missed this.

"Oh yes, I am sure," he said boldly. "You said you wanted to go to dinner with me, remember?"

"Oh Clark, did you ..I mean …how did you?" Myka said, taking out her phone to see that the text was from his phone number. "How did you get my number?"

She had assumed HG fiddled with the phone to make it appear that the text from her phone had Clark's name on it. "Genius," she had thought.

"Oh Agent Bering, I'm a genius geek. Getting your number was easy. I hope you don't mind that I changed the plans. It seemed to me your friend was a little too controlling for my tastes," he said looking at the menu.

"Wait, did you and Agent Wells agree on this," Myka said pointing back and forth at them.

"Well not exactly. But she was very confusing. She gave me the money to bid on your, then said I didn't win when I did, and then she wouldn't take the money back. She told me to tell you that restaurant even though I hate French food, and then said she would get the money from me next week at the store. I have it here, so you can just give it to her. I'm paying for dinner. I didn't take any money out, I swear," he declared. "She offered to get me a date with the really cute agent, Claudia? But I would much rather have dinner with you."

Myka tried to smile back at him, but it was hard when his life was in danger.

"Clark, I think there has been a misunderstanding, a mistake," Myka tried, but the waiter was there telling them about the specials and Clark was starving. He was ordering appetizers and then their entrees which he told Myka he was taking the liberty of doing because he was part Italian.

"Clark, I have to text Agent Wells," Myka said pulling her phone out. She was pretty sure that HG was sitting at a table in a restaurant a few blocks away.

"You're not asking her to join us are you cause really, she's a little scary when she's mad," Clark said shoving a buttered roll into his mouth.

"Oh sweetie, you haven't seen anything yet," Myka said, slipping the phone back into her purse and glancing at the entry way.


	8. Love Can Make You Do Crazy Things

**The heart has its reasons that reason knows nothing of. ~Blaise Pascal**

* * *

"Now Clark," Myka said reaching over and taking his hand," I want you to let me handle this, OK?"

Clark had no idea what Myka was talking about; he was just thrilled by the touch of her hand on his. She let go just in time. Helena was walking slowly, almost gracefully through the room. It gave Myka time to see her new dress, and she was impressed. It took Myka a second to remember it didn't matter what she was wearing – Helena would do physical injury regardless of her attire.

"Mr. Clark!" HG said in a low voice near his ear and snapped her fingers at a waiter to bring a third chair. He did so immediately. Myka actually heard Clark yelp.

"I do hope you've have enough time to share with Agent Bering who your next of kin is so that we may notify them," HG said slowly.

"Notify them of what," Clark said pulling back in his chair.

"Of where to collect your …" HG started but Myka got there before her.

"Helena, Clark was just telling me that he was very confused by your arrangement, weren't you Clark?" she asked the young man, offering him the only life line he would get.

"You told me to win that bid," Clark said with the napkin up to his mouth. He did look queasy, Myka thought.

"Yes, I was very clear about that wasn't I?" HG said calmly. "I do not mince words."

"And then you said where to take Agent Bering to dinner and she said she wanted to go to dinner with me…," he tried.

"Really Clark, do you want the last words falling form your lips to be whines?" HG asked, patting his hand that he immediately withdrew. His eyes widened with fear.

Myka looked at her. That was rough even for HG. No one knew HG's jealousy streak better than Myka, but this was a little over the top. Then it dawned on her -it wasn't just that this man was out with Myka. No, he _had not_ followed Helena's orders, had struck out on his own and had one upped her in the process. It was the trifecta of insults for HG. Myka had to distract her because she was sure of two things now – if would not be a good idea to make a scene in this pack filled restaurant, and she really should have gotten that next of kin info.

"Helena?" Myka said. "How did you find me?"

"Pardon?" HG asked, her attention diverted.

"How did you find me?" Myka asked again.

"I used my receiver," she said and then turned to Clark. "It tells me the exact coordinates of the transmitter I slipped into Myka's…..," and then she stopped and everyone followed Helena's eye to Myka's chest.

"For the record, I knew you slipped this into my …," Myka said because she felt the small disc in her cup.

"I thought you'd know," HG said smiling.

"I knew that you'd think I knew," Myka said and then realized where everyone was staring.

"You bugged her bra?" Clark asked and made HG refocus. Her expression read ' _are you still here_?' but he didn't get it. "How far does that thing transmit?" he asked because now he was interested in the hardware aspect.

"About twenty blocks," HG answered because she was proud of her device.

"Wow. Affected by weather?" he inquired.

"No, nor body heat," HG informed him.

"OK, OK this concludes the meeting of _Spies R Us_ ," Myka said because they were both staring at the disc's location. Myka crossed her arms in an attempt to break their gazes.

"Are you guys spies?" he asked none too softly and heads turned.

"Yes Helena, were you spying on me?" Myka asked and her tone bothered HG.

"No, not spying darling. I put them in all of your… eh…. So that when you are in the ..Ware…office, I can find you easily," HG confessed.

"Tracker bras. Cool," Clark said imagining being able to work for Victoria's Secret. HG glared at him.

"We are so talking about this later, Agent Wells," Myka said leaning over to HG and patting her leg. "So Helena, will you be joining us?" Myka asked and Clark added his interest. Helena looked at her. She wasn't joining them so much as allowing Clark to escape unharmed.

"After all, Agent Wells, Clark did win the bid according to the official records and we wouldn't want to mar the good work you've done. Did you know Clark, that the dinner was all of Agent Wells' idea?" Myka smiled and took a bite of the arugula salad the waiter placed in front of her.

"Signora, sarete con i vostri amici? The waiter asked Helena if she was joining her friends in his native tongue because Helena had come through the door cursing in Italian.

"Si, grazie," she said because she knew Myka was telling her she had no choice.

"Did you build the transmitter, too?" Clark asked pushing salad into his mouth.

"Darling, I rarely use anything I don't build myself," HG said, her tone softening just a little. Perhaps she would let him live.

For a guy who didn't have a date to his high school prom, things certainly had changed for Clark. Here he was on Valentine's Day, out to dinner with two of the most beautiful women in the world. Helena found a reason not to do bodily harm to the youth – he was fascinated with her technology skills. If there was something Helena could not resist – it was someone genuinely impressed with her skills. Sometimes Helena yearned to reach beyond the Warehouse walls to test her skills in engineering or chemistry. Hunting down artifacts didn't always call for brilliance; sometimes it was just gut instinct and luck. However, the fact remained that Helena did not plan on dinner with two other people and she wanted French food, not Italian. In spite of Clark's sincere interest in HG's technical brain, her mind was on dessert.

* * *

When the waiter asked if they wanted to see the dessert course menus, Clark jumped and said yes, but Helena told him to get it to go.

"No, grazie. Solo il controllo, per favore," Helena asked for the check. She had allowed her plans to go astray long enough.

"Can't we stay for dessert?" Clark asked sounding younger than his years. He did not want this evening to end for many reasons. Myka expected HG to lose it, but she sounded very motherly when she told him calmly, but firmly, no.

"Desserts shall be enjoyed at home," she smiled at him and then cast her wicked smile on Myka.

Clark gave Helena back her satchel of money, to which Myka cast a raised eyebrow. "How much money were you willing to bid?" she asked wondering how high the bidding might have gone.

"Whatever it took, darling," HG smiled.

* * *

At the other end of the restaurant, a well-dressed couple was enjoying their anniversary dinner. The woman playfully touched her husband's temple and stroked his hair. He put his hand inside his jacket and pulled out a jewelry box and presented it. She smiled with delight at the diamond heart necklace.

"It's beautiful," she said.

"Just like you," he replied.

There wasn't anything Fred Tobias wouldn't get his wife.

Then she said, "Oh I'm sorry, Fred. I can't make that banquet tomorrow night. I volunteered to go to this dinner to thank the people who put that charity event together the other night. I am having dinner with the woman who put it together," she sighed.

"Can't you have someone else do it?" he asked because there were plenty of staff members who would enjoy a good meal.

"Actually, I don't mind. The IRS Agent seems very interesting and very bright. You know how I am _starving_ for intellectual camaraderie, Fred," she said.

Fred knew his wife was very bright, but she was surrounded by some very smart people in her field at the hospital. No, it was not her intellectual appetite that was famished. As good as their relationship was, Fred was 15 years older than her and couldn't keep up with her sometimes. They discussed it and Fred said he simply could not handle the thought of her with another man. Ellen said in that case, he had nothing to worry about. She finished her meal, ordered tiramisu, and excused herself to go to the ladies room. It was on the way back that she ran into the object of her affections.

"Agent Wells! Agent Bering, and the young man who won the bid …with Agent Bering," Ellen assessed quickly. "Are you here as the chaperone," she asked Helena, and slowly drank the sight of her in that tight black dress from head to toe. Myka shifted her weight onto one leg and crossed her arms. She did not like this woman.

"Dr. Tobias," HG greeted her and then under her breath added; " _I fear this dinner will never end_."

"I hope you don't have to return the favor tomorrow night, Agent Bering. You don't have to worry – she'll be in good hands," Ellen laughed and said goodnight.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she said touching HG's arm a little longer than necessary.

"I think she likes you or something," Clark said, taken by the forward actions of the woman.

"Now?" Helena asked permission, but Myka still didn't see the point.

Myka thanked Clark for a lovely dinner. He leaned in fast and stole a kiss, which Myka thought proved he was brave …or insane. He bought himself a slight reprieve by shaking Helena's hand and telling her he hoped they could talk again sometime.

"It would defy the laws of physics," she smiled. The young man was very perplexed by the statement, but Myka knew that was HG's way of saying _hell would have to freeze over first_.

The agents got into the car and Helena sighed. ' _Here it comes_ ,' Myka thought. "Yes Helena?" she asked.

"I wanted to have dinner with you. I wanted dinner with you in a French restaurant. I did not want a third party there, especially one I had given very clear instructions to and….," HG ranted but was cut off when Myka smothered her mouth with a kiss. She wouldn't let Helena's mouth go until she heard silence. It took a while. Getting HG's mind off what she was upset about was not an easy task. "But I wanted ….," she tried and Myka placed a finger on her lips.

"I know this wasn't the dinner you planned, Helena, but I promise you, it will be the dessert you had in mind," Myka say shoving the key in the ignition and driving home … quickly.


	9. A Re-Mark(ed)able Woman

**I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my soul can reach. ~Elizabeth Barrett Browning**

* * *

"Agent Bering, I believe you actually went over the speed limit back there," Helena teased when they pulled up to the B&B. There were no cars and no lights on in the house. They were the first ones back from their Valentine dinners.

"Dessert?" Myka asked devilishly and HG melted.

"There's no one home," HG remarked as Myka walked her backwards into the bedroom.

"Yes, I know," Myka said slowly as she started to remove HG's dress from her shoulders and kissing them.

"No one will hear me…," HG said, but was cut off when Myka pulled the dress down further and planted kisses on her breast.

"I'm going to help you write a whole new chapter for your book, Helena," Myka said as she released HG from the dress and let her hands roam the length of the Brit, stopping at highly sensitive places long enough to bring Helena to the brink, then moved on again, over and over until Helena swore …in multiple languages.

"Oh God Myka, please ….," she finally begged and Myka obliged…achingly slow until the moans erupted into screams that Myka did not have to stifle with a pillow.

By dawn, Helena had more than enough material for a chapter in her journal. She seriously doubted anyone could do it as well though, even with explicit directions.

* * *

The sun was comfortably in the sky by the time they got out of bed on Sunday. They descended the stairs to find Pete lying face down on the couch, still in his tuxedo shirt and pants. It looked as if he had collapsed there, with his legs propped up by the end of the sofa. They tiptoed into the kitchen to make breakfast. In the time it took Helena to boil water and steep her tea to perfection, Myka had made them scrambled eggs and toast.

"I am particularly hungry today?" HG said as she devoured the food.

"Well, you did work up quite an appetite," Myka teased as she shared her toast.

Just then they could hear Pete yelling and they went back into the living room. He was standing there with his hands on his hips, facing a guilty looking Claudia whose attempt to sneak into the house had not been successful.

"OK, I now you're old enough, but that …. I mean….. sure I get it….. but it's almost lunch time," Pete was saying trying to figure out if he should be saying any of this. Claudia was practically an adult, but Pete wasn't ready for what that might entail. Myka and HG were a welcomed sight.

"Myka, take care of this would you, please?" Pete asked. "Where is Leena? I need breakfast," he said. There were blotches of red lipstick on his cheeks and shirt.

"Rough night, Pete?" Myka laughed.

"They took me dancing, Myka. They wore me out. I can't…. there were five of them…..and then they insisted on dessert," Pete said.

"Oh I bet they did," HG said and there was no mistaking her definition.

"No, _dessert_ dessert. You know for women who know all about eating healthy, they sure pushed a lot of things in my mouth," he complained.

"Oh I bet they did," HG repeated in the same tone.

"Take her away," Pete pleaded with Myka.

"Yes, she's got some retrieval work to do," Myka said waving her finger at HG to start removing the transmitter discs from her clothing.

"I could have put it in _you_ , you know," HG said defensively and it gave Myka serious pause.

"OK Helena, you are not – do you hear me- not allowed to put anything in me," Myka blurted out, but it was fodder for HG's scandalous mind.

"That's not what you said last night," HG said slowly.

"OK you two. Where is Leena?" Pete wailed from the doorway. "There's no breakfast? I'm starving here."

Just then the front door opened and closed very quietly. Leena's eyes were on the stairway as she moved slowly into the living room. It wasn't until she was in there did she turn to face all of her friends, arms crossed and waiting.

"Oh good morning everyone," Leena said. She glanced at Claudia who was also holding her shoes in her hands.

"Didn't work for me either," Claudia sympathized.

"What is going on here?" Pete asked unsure of whether he liked that his friends were otherwise engaged now. "Can we just get back to …..normal?" he asked and even he had a tough time using that word.

"You mean breakfast?" Leena asked.

"Yes!" Pete said relieved someone understood him.

"You're going to have a heck of a time getting those out of your shirt," Leena said pointing to the outlined lip stains.

He never felt as outnumbered as he did when four sets of female eyes were staring at him. "OK, one set of lips, five women. Do the math people. They wanted me to remember them, so they used their imaginations," he said of the markings.

"Oh I bet they did," HG said right on cue. "Where else did they…," she was asking as she cast an eye downward. Pete grabbed a pillow and put it in front of him, feeling naked.

"Keep your eyes …..," he said walking backwards into the dining room.

* * *

Myka followed Helena up the stairs and realized for the first time that she too, had left some marks. Myka gently lifted the short robe HG wore. Perhaps it was unconsciously, but Myka had left a trail of small, but noticeable love bites on the back of Helena's thigh to her lower back.

"Darling, as much I love to remove you undergarments, I shall not enjoy touching them without you in them," Helena pouted hoping to get out of the task.

"You should have thought about that when you implanted them with transmitters," Myka answered.

"Not all of them, just the really sexy ones," HG confessed. "I hate not being to find you in that big Warehouse when you are wearing such charming …," HG tried.

"I do not want to be beeping on the Warehouse security mapping devices, even if it does shorten your efforts to find me," Myka said.

"Fine," Helena said, but made several more attempts to get out of the job, all of them unsuccessful.

* * *

Helena's efforts at matchmaking were successful and Sunday was a quiet day at the B&B as they recovered from their various activities. Leena and Kenneth went from dinner to a horse-drawn carriage ride through the moonlit fields on Univille. They rode until they came to the next town, where Kenneth took Leena to the best place for apple pie because she had mentioned that she never could find one that was as good as her grandmother's.

"Wow," she said taking the first bite. It wasn't as good as her grandmother's, but she loved that Kenneth went to all that trouble. And she loved the smile that appeared on his face when she said it. She had the most wonderful time, talking with Kenneth and discovering that they had many of the same interests and likes. He should have been the perfect match for her, she thought. Yet, something nagged at her the entire night as they sat there getting to know one another. Leena pushed the answer away as many times as she could because there was no solving this problem.

Kenneth was a wonderful guy, and she'd be foolish to hold him to the impossible standard of one Charles Wells.

Claudia and Brandon finished dinner and went back to his apartment where the sounds of ooh and ahhh and squeals of delight and pleasure were heard for hours. He had an amazing collection of computers and Claudia couldn't keep her hands off them.

Pete lost control of the group as soon as they got to the club. The women were having so much fun with him. It turned out that the one who interested Pete the most, was also the only one not drinking. Anne was the designated driver, and so she and Pete were the only two not feeling the effects of the alcohol.

By the end of the evening, Pete had five dates lined up, but he was looking forward to the one with Anne the most.

* * *

Helena pushed the thoughts about her dinner as far from her mind as she could. Myka hadn't said much about it during the day either. Helena was not worried, she knew how to handle herself, and was only going because of the high-profile status of her dinner date. Soon though, the time came when she had to get ready.

"I swear to the gods Myka, I shall do no good deed ever again. It is not worth the punishment. Oscar was right. Not a single one escapes the sentence," HG fussed as Myka picked out her clothes.

"Too much?" Myka asked as she held out pants, a turtle neck, a vest, and a jacket.

"Not if you want me to suffocate," HG answered.

"Fine, no vest," Myka conceded.

Helena took the pants and put them on in front of the mirror in her room. "Myka Bering!" she said amazed. "Did you …..?" she asked as she surveyed her exposed skin in the back. Her fingers trailed the line of Myka's work.

"I may have, yes," an embarrassed Myka admitted.

"Your foreplay has left me a _marked_ woman," Helena smiled, quite proud to wear Myka's touches.

"Well in that case, I'm glad. Let your doctor friend know that," Myka said - her real feelings about the impending dinner surging. Her breathing quickened and she started to pace as _logical Myka_ struggled up against ' _slap that bitch silly' Myka_. Helena had never really seen that side of her friend.

"Helena, I know this is silly. I mean, we're … good. We're better than good and I trust you with all my heart, but that woman …," Myka started to say.

"That woman, darling is a dinner obligation, nothing more," HG whispered in her ear.

"I know, I know," Myka said, feeling silly for allowing these feelings to emerge. Helena sat next to Myka and put her arm around her.

"I am yours, Myka -heart, soul, and body."

Myka truly appreciated the reassuring words, but it wasn't Helena she had her doubts about. She wrestled with the fact that the doctor was very up front about being married, and a lot of people found Helena charming. Why should the doctor be any different? Thoughts raced through Myka's mind as she tried to decide which side of the fence she'd be spending the evening on.

* * *

Helena's every attempt to look as plain as she could was futile. With very little makeup on, her skin still glowed and her dark eyes shined. Even her hair that she combed halfheartedly fell into place perfectly.

"I shan't be late," she promised Myka as she kissed her. Myka watched as she got into the car that the doctor has sent for her.

In spite of Pete's intention to help the situation, his remark that the driver could be taking Helena anywhere did not sit well with Myka.

"What does that mean?" she asked him angrily.

"Oh, nothing … I mean I'm sure the doc is on the up and up," he explained, but it sent Myka reeling.

"Self-talk Myka, self-talk," Myka repeated in her bathroom where she splashed cold water on her face. "Everything is okay. Helena will be home before I know it," she said to quell the waves of jealousy surging. ' _Text me when you get there_ ,' she typed more as a command and a request.

' _I am there darling_ ,' HG replied and Myka felt better.

* * *

Helena took a deep breath and went into the restaurant where she was greeted by the maître d for the second night in a row. This time unfortunately, her guest was waiting for her.

Ellen was happy to see Helena as she approached the table, and only slightly disappointed to see her business attire. She got up from the table and grabbed Helena and kissed her cheek before HG had finished saying hello. If Helena thought she was in charge of this dinner, she was sadly mistaken.

"It is so good of you to come," Ellen said as she ordered a bottle of expensive wine from the steward whom she knew by name.

"So tell me, Helena, no chaperone this evening. By design I hope?" Ellen asked. HG was beginning to see this woman's questions were going to take some thought.

"Agent Bering is at home, resting. She had a long night," HG said nonchalantly.

"Well that Clark certainly looked enamored with her. Nothing wrong with a few years age difference," Ellen laughed. Helena stared at her, but Ellen didn't pick up on it.

The steward brought the wine, gave Ellen a sample, and waited for her approval before he poured it into the glasses.

"Well, here's to a job well done, Helena. Thanks to you, Univille will have additional defibrillators at key locations. The medical staff does appreciate that," Ellen toasted HG, and sipped her wine.

Helena followed and put the glass to her lips. It was the best sip of Bordeaux that she had tasted in years. She savored it on her palate, swallowing slowly as Ellen watched.

"You know fine wines. That's not typical for an IRS Agent I bet. Although, I take it Helena, there is nothing _typical_ about you," Ellen said sipping hers, but looking at HG over the glass.

"What kind of doctor are you?" HG asked, deciding she would control the conversation.

Ellen smiled and took another sip. So many ways to answer that. "I am a cardiologist. How's your heart, Helena," the doctor asked as she slipped her shoeless toe up Helena's leg.

The boldness of the move made Helena choke on her sip of wine. "Are you okay?" the doctor asked removing her foot slowly.

"Doctor Tobias," HG struggled to say.

"Ellen, please," the doctor said unfazed by the effect of her action. She didn't wait for Helena to finish her sentence. She called the waiter over and ordered for both of them without so much as a glance in Helena's direction to see if it was ok.

Helena was taken aback by the forwardness of the doctor; it was nothing like what she had come across before. Well, by a mentally balanced person anyway. The boldest women of HG's time may have experimented outside the box, but decorum and proprieties were always considered. Advances were never made in public. Helena had always prided herself on being at the top of that food chair.

It was time for Helena to regain control.

"I hope you did not misunderstand my intentions by being here this evening, Doctor Tobias," HG said calling her by her professional name again.

"I think the question is, Helena I hope you didn't misunderstand mine," the doctor said slowly, reaching over and touching HG's hand.

* * *

"I gotta hand it you, Mykes. You're handling this date with the doctor very well," Pete said that night.

"Pete, it's not a date, it's an obligation. The doctor won the bid and HG is obligated to go. You know it's really all Artie's fault. HG had no intention of us being part of that auction," Myka said, and then she looked at Pete. "What? What is it?" she asked because he was scrunching up his face and pacing.

"OK, look I didn't want to say anything because HG can handle herself just fine and I didn't want to upset you and the nurses said not to say anything…," he tried, but Myka was up in his face.

"So help me Lattimer, I will … I will…. I don't know what I will do, but it will hurt," she finally said.

"OK, geez take it easy. The nurses were just saying that the doctor has an …. _open_ marriage. You know, like an understanding with her husband," Pete said trying to gain distance between them.

"What kind of understanding?" Myka said as if the adjective didn't sum it up.

"Open …as in… _room for someone else_ ," Pete tried.

"They want a threesome!" Myka yelled at him.

"No, no, Myka no," Pete said and Myka was relieved.

"He's not invited," Pete said.


	10. It's Always the Quiet Ones

" **Love may be blind, but jealousy has 20-20 vision." Author unknown**

* * *

"Doctor Tobias, I believe I do understand your intentions well enough, but they do not match mine," Helena said looking directly at the woman.

"Really? I find it hard to believe a woman with your raw magnetism has never considered what it would be like," Ellen said sincerely.

Helena wanted to say not only had she considered it, she was writing a book about it, but that would have revealed too much. Instead, she smiled wickedly at the doctor who was very perceptive.

"I knew it," Ellen consoled herself. "You can't blame a girl for trying," she said across the table. And it would have appeared that she had accepted defeat. "Better to ask forgiveness than permission, is my motto. So can you forgive me, Helena?"

"Yes," Helena said slowly because Ellen kept things at a very fast pace. She waved to the waiter and changed the order explaining that she liked to make her own choices, but thanked Ellen just the same.

"I like you Helena. I push, you push back. I enjoy that," Ellen said in her most nonsexual reference of the night.

If momentum was what Ellen enjoyed, she was about to meet a force greater than she had ever considered - a pissed off Myka – who at the moment was dressing and trying to decided – _Tesla or no Tesla?_ The slamming of drawers and doors had Pete concerned.

"Look Mykes, I shouldn't have said anything. I mean, they all like the doctor – she's a really nice person. It's just that she has …. OK, you know what? Let's just wait for HG…. Myka and put the tesla down, please," Pete tried, but Myka was moving too fast for him.

"How do you stand it, Helena? Doing the mundane work of a government pencil pusher in the IRS?" Ellen asked sincerely.

"I enjoy my work," Helena said and even she heard the lack of conviction in it.

"Helena, I was honest enough to tell you I wanted to take you to bed for sex. I think you can be honest with me, yes?" Ellen shot from her hip. _When was the last time someone pointed out that HG's talents were being underutilized?_ "I once read a report by Dr. Calder that said you made amino acids," Ellen said. "You didn't learn that the IRS training camp."

"I've had a _variety_ of training," HG said as the waiter brought over her new dish.

' _Oh I bet you have_ ,' ran through Ellen's mind, but she didn't share it. "Dr. Calder thinks you're very bright," she said as a compliment.

"Does she? Well, it's the first thing she's said that I agree with," HG let out.

"No love lost there, Helena?" Ellen pushed.

"No, I respect the doctor a great deal," HG tried to cover up her personal feelings. She liked _Vanessa - the doctor_ and _Vanessa- Artie's girlfriend_. She did not like _Vanessa - Gloria Brown, RN's boss_ – because as far as Helena believed, Gloria was there for her. Period.

"She's a highly respected doctor at the hospital although I know she works on government issues a great deal of the time," Ellen said. "We once worked together on a heart monitor and she showed me a device that she said you invented," Ellen said referring to the bio- bracelet HG designed.

If she was looking for more information than that, HG wasn't going to give it to her.

"You are very, very bright aren't you Helena?" The doctor decided there was more than one way to stroke Helena.

"Guilty as charged. So tell me, Doctor Tobias, what keeps you at Univille General?" Helena asked.

"I enjoy my work immensely, but I am here because of Fred's job. I met him five years ago at a conference. We fell in love and got married. Fred is a few years older than I am and most of the time, that isn't an issue. _Most of the time_ ," she reiterated making sure Helena understood.

"Helena, I want you to know I gave a great deal of thought to this," she said pointing back and forth. "I'm an intense person who goes after everything she wants. I always have. I guess it's my personality," Ellen confessed looking across the table. She was making absolutely sure HG was having the slightest _change of heart._ Had there been, she would have pounced like a puma.

"What can I say Helena, I simply _thrive_ on excitement," Ellen said, finishing the last drop of wine from her glass.

"Doctor Tobias, I think you're about to get more excitement than you planned on," HG said glancing at the window behind the doctor.

* * *

If Myka was riding the fence on whether or not to give into her sudden found jealousy, there was no mistaking now which side she fell down on. Pete's shared information about the doctor made her snap. She knew the doctor was interested in Helena; no one makes a twenty thousand dollar donation for twelve thousand dollars' worth of equipment! It was the doctor's boldness that really irritated Myka. She made it perfectly clear she was married, and yet still went after Helena.

Myka talked to herself the entire time it took to drive to the restaurant. The only thing she didn't verbalize was what she was going to say. That would come from her heart. She was sick and tired of the world not knowing that Helena was hands off because she was spoken for. She had reached her limit of not saying anything because of work or because she was polite. She was done with all of that.

The only thing she had changed her mind about when she got out of the car was the Tesla. She left it behind.

Helena took a deep breath and sat back in her chair. She was _really_ going to enjoy this. It didn't matter to her that she had just let Ellen know she wasn't available. It was about to be made abundantly clear.

Ellen had no idea Myka was there, but HG swore she could feel her presence as soon as she came through the door. Myka didn't ask the waiter to bring her a chair. This was _Myka in charge_ and she simply pulled one from a nearby table and sat down. Helena had to hand it to the doctor – she never appeared shocked to see Myka suddenly there.

"Doctor Tobias, I was sitting home before and thought about what was going on here tonight, and decided I owed you an apology," Myka said calmly, but HG knew it wasn't her calm voice.

The doctor looked at Helena to see if she was surprised by their guest. She had only seconds to assess this situation. "Really Agent Bering?"

"You see, I thought about tonight a great deal and why it was happening. The reason Agent Wells is here right now is because you offered a ridiculous amount of money to have dinner with her. She is holding up her end of a contractual agreement. But why are you here, I wondered? You're obviously a very successful woman, a married woman, who has a lot of money," Myka said slowly, looking directly at the doctor. "If I had to guess, I would say you're the kind of person who goes after what she wants and usually gets it," she added.

"That's an excellent assessment, Agent Bering, but….." the doctor said trying to let Myka know she had already gotten the message.

"I'm not done," Myka said in a tone that even the doctor didn't miss. "I am apologizing because I should have told you this sooner and saved you the trouble. Helena is not available. Not to you or anyone else for that matter. Helena is spoken for."

"I assure you Agent…," Ellen attempted, but didn't get further.

"I do not need to be assured by you, Doctor Tobias. I am here to _assure you_ … that if you _ever_ attempt a move on Helena again, I will go up one side of you and down the other before your heart has time to announce it's having an attack," Myka said and shoved back her chair.

She got out her seat, leaned over to Helena, held the back of her head, and kissed her the hardest she had ever done. The force of it alone made HG's legs give out. Myka looked straight at Ellen, who was filled with …..well, awe.

"We're going, Helena. Your obligation here is done," Myka said authoritatively. It was a rare moment when HG Wells was speechless, but this was one of those times.

Helena felt euphoric. Myka was always the one who quelled her jealousy streaks. She was always rational, reasonable and gave people the benefit of the doubt. Myka didn't storm in and make scenes; she approached things logically and by the book. But this was _Myka in charge_. Helena liked it … she liked it a lot.

Ellen watched out the window as Myka held the car door for Helena, shut it and looked back at the doctor. "Bravo, Agent Bering," she said with a mixture of admiration for Myka's performance, intimidation because she believed Myka meant every word she said, and jealousy.

Perhaps, just perhaps, Myka would let them be friends.

* * *

"Myka, that was …," HG tried to say on the way home, but Myka was still churning with emotion.

"Helena, I do not like that people think you are available. I don't like it at all," Myka said, hitting the steering wheel with the palm of her hand and veering just a little off course.

' _Great_ ,' HG thought. ' _Myka in charge is going to get us killed_.'

"I know darling," HG said putting her hand on Myka's leg.

"We always have to be professional, not draw attention to ourselves because of work, and so it looks as if we are not a couple, and that you are a free agent. No pun intended," Myka said. "Well, I won't stand for it anymore," she said pulling into the driveway so quickly that HG was jerked in the car. Myka unbuckled her seat-belt and turned to face HG.

"Helena, I have wanted to give this to you - not on a special day like Valentine's, but on a day that would be made special by this gift. This was my grandmother's ring," she said taking her hand out of her pocket. "It's a Claddagh ring, Helena," Myka explained holding it in her hand.

HG looked down at the distinctive design of two hands clasping a heart, and capped by a crown. She was familiar with the ring – worn by a great many Irish in her day. "Myka, it's ….," HG said, her voice cracking with emotion.

"If you wear it with the heart facing you, people will know you're not available, that you are taken," Myka said softly. Helena willingly put out her right hand out to Myka and she slipped it slowly up her finger.

"I will wear it always," HG promised and leaned in to kiss Myka.

"I'm sorry if I….," Myka said.

"Myka darling, please do not be sorry for taking what is yours. Now and always," HG whispered back.

Myka assertive display of claiming her territory was a first for both of them. It invigorated Myka and excited Helena – the perfect combination for the next chapter of HG's journal.

* * *

Helena's matchmaking efforts did pay off in the end. Each of their friends had met people they liked and enjoyed, and Helena could not have been more pleased.

"Do you know what the best part of all of this is?" HG asked Myka one night as they watched Downton Abbey together.

"That you know what English aristocratic life was like, and can point out all of the inconsistencies and faux pas they make in the show?" Myka teased because that is exactly how Helena spent the time when it was on.

"No I mean the best part of our friends all having romantic interests, silly," HG replied.

"What is the best part, Helena?" Myka said as she played with the ring that adorned HG's hand.

"No one is here to see me do this," the Brit replied, as she pulled Myka into her arms and kissed her.

"That's too bad," Myka said. "They'll just have to read your journal when it's published."


	11. Epilogue

" **Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt that the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar;** **  
But never doubt I love." ― William Shakespeare, _Hamlet_**

* * *

In the following days, Myka was pleased to notice on more than one occasion someone talking to Helena, taking note of her ring and its position, and moving on. It was serving its purpose well.

In spite of her protests, Helena took it seriously that she had something to do with her friends' latest relationships, and looked over them like one does new seedlings. She listened to Claudia when she relayed how they argued over which operating system was better, and suggested that perhaps that tension was actually something else. "Oh…," Claudia finally said one day.

She advised Pete on how to move away from group dating when he finally decided it was Anne he wanted to be with. He attributed his sudden popularity in town to the nurses talking about him. He was approached in the diner and the stationery store by total strangers who seemed to know him.

Of all the friends who benefited from HG's matchmaking skills, Leena seemed the least enthused by her new social opportunities. It finally dawned on Helena one day what the cause might be. ' _No, it can't be_?' she wrestled with, but the more she heard about how thoughtful and sweet Kenneth was, the more she knew something was afoot. HG feared Leena was not seeing the forest for the trees, and so she took it upon herself to say something.

"Leena, take it from someone who knows this all too well. Living in the past can cloud your vision of what you have right now and hurt your future," HG said one day as she sipped tea.

"Helena," Leena said, feeling as if HG read her thoughts. "How did you even know that?"

"In spite of all of my brother's shortcomings, and believe me there are many, he is still a Wells and possesses a certain charisma. I've been told it's very hard to get over," HG said without an ounce of conceit in her voice. "Don't miss out on what you can have for something you cannot have again," HG advised.

It sounded simple enough, but the fact that someone knew and Leena talked about it, put it in perspective for her. She would always have a special place in her heart for Charles Wells, but that didn't mean there wasn't room for a wonderful man like Kenneth.

When Myka pointed out how well things turned out, and that if HG ever got bored with solving puzzles and saving the day, perhaps she could start her own matchmaking service, Helena smiled and said that she was a romantic at heart. Ironically, the person whom Helena helped the most wasn't a member of her team family.

In another stroke of genius, or as Helena referred to it as ' _just being myself'_ – she helped someone outside the B&B.

* * *

For the fifth night in a row, Ellen Tobias fell back onto the sheets in her bedroom, collapsing after another exhilarating explosion of passion from techniques she never knew her husband possessed. He lay next to her, both of them out of breath, but smiling.

"I don't know what kind of vitamins you're taking, but I hope you never run out of them, " she gasped coming down off her high. She ached in places she never felt before, and it was wonderful. "I never thought I'd say this Fred, but please no more tonight. I can't," she laughed at the irony of the situation.

"You have only yourself to blame my sweet," her husband said.

"Me? Oh I can't take credit for this. You've outdone yourself. This is all you," she said taking a gulp of water from the bottle that she kept on the nightstand.

"Well, I'm a fast learner," he smiled.

"Wait, just where you are getting your lessons from?" she half teased.

"From that book you sent me," he said. Now Ellen was worried that the redistribution of blood was causing his memory to falter.

"Fred, what book are you talking about?" she said trying to sit up, but her muscles would not cooperate.

"The one you sent in the brown paper envelope with no name to my office. Very discrete, Dr. Tobias," Fred said reaching into the drawer and taking it out. He handed the leather-bound journal to her. She had never seen it before and feared from a medical standpoint that her husband was losing it.

"I'm only up to here," her husband said and opened the page in the middle of the journal. Ellen looked at the beautiful scripted verses that gave explicit instructions in how to please a woman. She quickly flipped through the pages to see if she could figure out who would have sent such a thing.

"I don't know who ' _HGW_ ' is, but they could teach the world a thing or two about how to make your partner happy," Fred said pleased that his own efforts were paying off.

Ellen started at the script and then ran her finger over the embossed initials. She opened it to the first page and read:

' _Fred – take it from someone who knows - the difference in age is never an excuse. Read this and learn. It is just what the doctor ordered.' H _

"It couldn't be….," Ellen said to herself.

Oh yes it could, Ellen. Yes it could.


End file.
